You’re Three Digits Away From Help

Underlying image by Chung Sin Lan on iStock

red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I knew there was a National Suicide Prevention Hotline, but I had no clue there was going to be a new three-digit 988 emergency call number until you sent me that article about it. Why isn’t it in the mainstream? They need to start promoting it!
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	First of all, it is called a “lifeline,” not a “hotline.” And, I know I am being literal, but we need to get over the stigma associated with mental health issues or experiencing an emotional crisis. If someone was drowning, would there be a stigma about throwing them a lifeline? Of course not. It would be expected.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Good point. And I think they should use celebrities to promote the new “988” number. Especially as more and more celebrities use their fame and public platforms to shed light on mental health issues, it makes “mere mortals” realize they’re not alone. And feel more comfortable admitting their own struggles and, more importantly, seeking help.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I hope the decision to change the name to Suicide & Crisis Lifeline will let people know there are trained counselors to help them with an assortment of issues, not only suicide.

red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Whenever I hear about the increasing number of deaths by suicide, especially by younger people, it breaks my heart. And when I read about mass killings, I can’t help but wonder if they couldn’t have been prevented if we had better mental health care.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Do not get me on that soapbox. But, this is a step in the right direction. Although, I am concerned whether the crisis centers are prepared for the potential volume of calls. I know there is over $400 million in federal funding to expand the system. However, the technology to automatically forward a 988 call to a nationwide support network is easy; being ready for the influx of calls and range of issues is entirely different.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	No kidding. I bet the current system saw a huge increase during the pandemic, and that was having to use a 10-digit number. But I’ll say they did a good job publicizing that number.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I know you do not want the numbers, but the current 10-digit number (which still works) received 3.6 million calls, chats, and texts in 2011, and more than 20 million calls on behalf of people calling for themselves or others since it was launched in 2005. But, it is critical to remember those “numbers” represent people, and have a ripple effect.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Then I can only imagine the impact of this change to 988. It could be huge!
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	That is the plan. The transition to a simplified three-digit number is meant to increase access. Similar to 911, but more specifically targeted. And, hopefully, widely used.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	So, what can we do to get the word out?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Hope people share this post …

P.S. – Want to help? Understanding the issues concerning mental health and suicide is an important way to help people in crisis, and to change the conversations around mental health. So, please take a moment to see how!

mental health

Words & Banter

Red Then. Red Now.

From back flap of our book, “What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!” Photographer unknown.

Long before we had an ABOUT page, readers met Red not only through the back flap of our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, but because her crisis was the book’s title! But a lot has happened since Black turned her crisis into a book — a brand — a business. Including a lot of growing up.

And Red? Still warm and fuzzy. Just a lot less sheltered.

WHAT WE SAID THEN

When we started working on the book, Red couldn’t find a photo of her and the girls, so they posed for one in the fall of 2004. Later, our book editor captured Red this way:

After getting a degree in Theater Arts, Red moved back in with her parents until she married an outgoing Englishman and followed his career around the globe. Now she lives in Sugar Land, a suburban city on the outskirts of Houston, Texas. Red is a warm and fuzzy mom whose life revolves around her two red-headed girls. With Red, it's all about the feelings.

WHAT WE DIDN’T KNOW THEN …

We knew Red was used to letting others take the lead. We didn’t know that once she took control, she’d discover how much she was capable of.

We knew her life revolved around her two red-headed girls. We didn’t know how much growing up was still ahead — for them and for Red.

We knew Red had learned a lot when her husband got fired. We probably should have known she’d want to use what she learned to help others.

And we described Red as “warm and fuzzy” and “all about the feelings. ”Still true. She’s just learned that sometimes warm and fuzzy isn’t enough.

AND THERE’S A STORY BEHIND THE PHOTO …

What makes this seemingly ordinary photo remarkable? Red’s in front of the camera!

She was almost always the one behind the camera, so when we needed a photo of her for the book, it had to be staged. In fact, she’s not even sure who took the photo.

At the time, it was simply a photo we needed. Looking at it now, it’s more than that. It captured Red in the middle of the life she’d always dreamed about — and when her girls were still young and being their mom was the center of her world.

She knew they would grow up. She just didn’t know how quickly that picture would become a memory.

A lot has changed since that photo was taken. Including Red.

Red & Black

Words & Banter

Comparing Red & Black

Same family. Very different approaches to life.

Red is warm and fuzzy. Black is pragmatic and sarcastic.

Red leads with her heart. Black leads with her head.
Red wants to talk it through. Black wants to solve it.
Red gives you the context. Black gives you the bottom line.

Which sounds more like you?

Which brings us to one of our favorite examples: When we had to explain the differences between us for the Introduction to What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, Red wrote pages with her usual blah-blah-blah. Black gave the book designer a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet.

Funny thing is that over the years, readers have not only told us which of us they’re more like, but also gone so far as to identify the “Reds” and “Blacks” in their own families. We even had a few who nicknamed themselves (one was “Brown,” another was “Bald”).

So, are you more like Red or Black? Or somewhere in between?

comparing sisters

Words & Banter

Finding Balance … With A Traffic Light?

Red assets.rebelmouse.io	I know everyone’s always trying to find balance in their life. I thought becoming an empty nester would make that easier, but apparently not. The girls may be grown, but being a mom doesn’t end when your children move out. Between them, Red & Black, and my seemingly endless lists of things to do, I still struggle.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	And, as I am a die-hard workaholic who admits to not having a life, you think I have the answer?
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Excellent point. Never mind.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	However, I do have some suggestions … although I will preface it with, "Do as I say, not as I do."

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finding balance

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Red assets.rebelmouse.io	At this point, I'll take whatever help I can get.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Sometimes you need to make a conscious effort to stay present. And, by that I mean appreciate what is happening now instead of thinking about what is next. Or, reminiscing about the past.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	That sounds good, but it also sounds overly simplistic, not to mention highly optimistic. And where would I even start?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Easy. It really is as simple as 1 – 2 – 3.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Nothing's that simple.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	1. SLOW down and look around 2. STOP using your gizmo and consider putting it away 3. GO spend time with family or friends, or steal some "alone time"
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Actually, that does sound simple. Now I just have to remember to SLOW – STOP –GO.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Just imagine a traffic light. Plus, it would have the added benefit of every time you see a real traffic light, it will remind you to SLOW –STOP – GO.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	I should've known there'd be a car or driving analogy in there somewhere.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Throttle on ...