| No matter how many hurricane seasons I go through, I'll never get used to seeing the heartbreaking images of the aftermath. People who have lost so much, and in some cases, lost everything. It makes me so thankful for so many things. |
| I think it makes all of us, especially those of us in hurricane-prone areas, realize that could be us. That regardless of how much you prepare, water and wind almost always win. But, so does the heart and soul of Americans – always stepping up to help. |
| No kidding! There's always a critical need for donations – whether money, clothing, emergency supplies, the list seems endless. Which is why we focused on money and listed some great organizations in Ida … Don't Know What To Do. |
| Not only is sending money the fastest and easiest way to help, but when you focus on credible relief organizations with boots on the ground, they know best what is most needed and where. |
| Well, what I find most amazing is when I read about neighbors helping neighbors, especially when they define "neighbors" as people in neighboring states. Or, sometimes, many states away. It makes me realize that amidst all the bad news focused on how we've become a divided nation, there are still genuinely good people who don't think twice about helping others. Sometimes because they have needed expertise, other times because they're just willing to roll up their sleeves. |
| It is easy to be a fair-weather friend, but it takes a very special person to be a bad-weather hero. |
| I saw that first-hand during Hurricane Harvey when we found ourselves under a mandatory evacuation in Sugar Land, with only a few hours advance notice. A good friend became our hero when he took a major detour from his evacuation plans to get all of us (which included two teenagers, an almost 90-year-old woman, and two Labradoodles!) to Austin safely. He knew all the backroads, and seemingly their elevation, as for the first few hours until we could get out from under all the heavy rains, water went right up to the edge of the road, but we never got flooded. |
| And, I am sure those memories came flooding back (sorry, could not resist) when you were recently in Nashville getting Sawyer moved into college and got caught driving in heavy rain. It was not until later in the day that I learned there was severe flooding 60 miles away in Waverly. Regardless, I do know that you hate driving in the rain. |
| Luckily, Nashville escaped the worst of it, but we were carefully watching the local weather with great concern. The images and flooding were heartbreaking and scary, and brought back bad memories of flash floods in Texas. But I smiled when you sent me that article about the amazing helicopter pilot who, along with his fiancé, was alone in the sky rescuing people in Waverly during the deadly floods. |
| Talk about a real-life hero. Putting aside his safety to focus on helping as many people as he could. And, you know there will be many stories of heroics coming out of Hurricane Ida, not only along the Gulf Coast but also the devastating floods it has caused in the Northeast. |
| Absolutely. And they're stories we won't soon forget. I've read how so many people want to help the Cajun Navy and its Hurricane Ida efforts as a way of thanking them for all the help they gave Houston during Harvey. |
| They are amazing, but if you want to talk about memorable stories, it will be hard to beat Hurricane Ida's cow-saving good Samaritans! |
| The stories of people saving animals always touch my heart. Heroes really do show up wherever they're needed, don't they? But I can't help but wonder how they always seem to be at the right place at the right time. |
| That is a "belief" question, but I do know that technology and social media have helped. We may take issue with people feeling the need to always be connected, but in times of emergencies, it can be the difference between life and death. And, when it comes to matching people needing help with those wanting to give it, online organizations like CrowdSource Rescue are invaluable. |
| Well, it always warms my heart to see how people will come together, as they always do, to help each other in times of need. |
| Not to mention, all the unsung heroes that we will never hear about … |
| The last few days have been beautiful fall weather, and I can't help but wonder — do you ever miss having your Ferrari convertible? |
| Although some days are perfect convertible weather, given that I barely drove it the last few years I owned it, averaging less than 50 miles a year, I can honestly say, "No." In fact, I cannot even remember the last time I drove it. |
| I can't help you with that, but I'll never forget the last day we taught at KIPP Houston High School, and you drove it there. You should have seen the students' faces as you were lowering the top on it. |
| Funny thing is, I never took the car to KIPP because I did not want anyone to think I was showing off, but I forgot how exciting it is for motorheads to see special cars — whether new or vintage. |
| I doubt everyone crowding around your car was a motorhead, but they certainly were excited to see it. Boys AND girls! At the risk of sounding warm and fuzzy, I think the fact you not only drove a Ferrari, but also raced them, gave the girls a feeling of empowerment that they really can do anything. |
| I guess because I always worked in male-dominated industries, I got used to being the "token" woman. Regardless, I never look at things as being gender-specific. |
| That's because you never look at anything like the rest of the world does, or at least most people do. A perfect example of that is you giving Juan a ride in the Ferrari. I doubt many people would have done that. |
| It seemed only fair since he tried to make a "deal" with me the day before — a hand of poker or even a flip of a coin. If he wins, he gets a ride in the Ferrari. If I win, he will be my slave for a day. Giving him a ride in the car was a reward for having the chutzpah to try to make a deal with me. And, in the two years we taught at KIPP, of the over 200 students who took our Personal Finance & Life 101 class, he was the only one ever to do that. |
| I'll never forget how you also told them that although it may not be the proper definition for the Yiddish word "chutzpah," the real-life definition is "having balls." |
| How else would you explain it? |
| You should know, as many people have used that word to describe you. And it was consistent with the lesson we taught them about how you "confronted" Bob Weinstein (of the movie-producing Weinstein Brothers) at a conference in New York. (Granted, it was well before the #MeToo scandal.) You realized you had nothing to lose, not to mention you were well prepared. |
| In most scenarios, if you do not ask for something, you will not receive it. So, what is the risk of asking? Someone may say "no"? The way I see it, you are no worse off than before you asked. So, in reality, there is no downside risk, but there IS upside potential. They may say "yes." |
| True. And I laughed, although I wasn't surprised when everyone else started asking for a ride in the Ferrari! |
| Except Juan did not just ask for a ride. He tried to negotiate a deal. He structured it so that there was an upside for me if he lost the bet, which obviously would be the downside for him. But, what impressed me the most was that he was proactive and took a chance, albeit a long shot, to get something he wanted. |
| And given the smile on his face when you drove off, it obviously paid off. I bet, even though it has been many years, it's something he's never forgotten. |
| The lesson or the ride in the Ferrari? |
| Both. And I will go out on a limb and say I bet many of the kids standing around the car when you told Juan to jump in, and then explained why, may also remember not only that day but the importance of the lesson. |
| Then, it was a perfect day for a convertible ride. |
| I love how The Eyewall newsletter keeps an eye (pun intended) on tropical activity in the Atlantic Ocean, Caribbean Sea, and Gulf of Mexico. Not only is it a great “no hype” analysis of what’s going on, but it really helps me deal with the prospect of any bad storms hitting Houston. |
| You definitely watch the weather more than I do. But, I know that is because you have an extreme “fear” (or however you want to describe it) of driving in heavy rain and potentially facing road flooding. |
| Borderline terror. Thanks to you. |
| Me? I thought I was the one who taught you what to do when encountering high water. |
| You did. But only after you got me into the situation in the first place! It had already been raining heavily when we each arrived at that meeting near my house. Afterward, although I preferred to go straight home, you thought it’d be ok for us to keep to the original plan of me following you into Houston. |
| At the time, it didn’t seem that bad, just rain. |
| Says the woman in the Mercedes G-Wagon who sits high above cars and even other SUVs. Anyway, I can still remember it like it was yesterday … the rain’s pounding down, you’re behind me, we’re talking on the phone about the meeting, and suddenly you go from your normal conversational tone to sounding like what I imagine an air traffic controller would be like — very measured, very direct, very non-emotional. |
| I needed you to pay attention. I could see you were about to hit high water, and I knew my instructions would go against your natural instincts. You needed to keep giving the car gas, but ease up on the accelerator and, no matter what, not brake. |
| And gently “steer” around the cars you could see were stalled out in front of me. Then, you told me to keep saying these words out loud ... “keep it going, keep it going, keep it going.” And then you hung up on me. |
| I knew there was nowhere for you to pull over, and you were frightened. But, by giving you a “mantra” to say out loud, I hoped to focus you on the most critical thing you needed to do. I did not have the time to explain that keeping your foot on the gas, even if just a little, kept you moving forward and prevented water from entering the engine through the exhaust (tail) pipe. I could see past the water and knew you just needed to get through it to reach higher ground. |
| I felt like I was driving a bumper car at a carnival, trying to avoid all the other cars. Finally, a few minutes later, although it felt like an eternity, I was able to park on high ground. Where I stayed for hours, waiting for the water to recede so I could get home. Ever since, whenever I’m on the road during storms, I feel like I have a form of PTSD. Although I probably shouldn’t say that because it’s unfair to those, especially veterans, who truly have PTSD. |
| I understand you do not want to seem like you are diminishing the seriousness of PTSD, but you may have a mild form of it. However, I am not qualified to diagnose it. Nor do I know enough about it to speak intelligently. |
| Just the thought of high water is traumatic and causes me extreme stress. It’s an overwhelming feeling of not having control of a situation that could quickly become a life-or-death scenario. I can’t even imagine what soldiers must feel after seeing combat. They have to face battle day after day, month after month. And, often, year after year. And then they come home and often must fight an entirely different battle. |
| Not all people exposed to traumatic events develop PTSD, but they are more susceptible. In addition to combat exposure, events such as physical abuse or assault, sexual violence, mass shootings, natural disasters … it is a long list. |
| Wow, I never thought about it that way. Even more reason that we all need to be more sympathetic. And while I appreciate that we may not know the details of their story or situation, it shouldn’t stop us from being kind and understanding first, rather than immediately judging someone. |
| Technically, I think you mean empathetic. Regardless, we can all learn more about PTSD. And, mental illness. No one should ever have to suffer alone. We should let family and friends know that it is ok to not always be ok. And, that we are there if they need us. But, remember to always ask for permission before offering help or advice, and respect their wishes if they decline. |
| For someone whose default is being sarcastic, that was very warm and fuzzy. And calming. Similar to when you got me through that high water. And now, I know to recognize my fear, do my best to avoid situations that will trigger me, and, if unavoidable, find a mantra and try to stay calm. |
| Oh, and trust your instincts. Your gut told you not to go to Houston with me. |
| Now you tell me! |
Long before we had an ABOUT page, readers met Red not only through the back flap of our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, but because her crisis was the book’s title! But a lot has happened since Black turned her crisis into a book — a brand — a business. Including a lot of growing up.
And Red? Still warm and fuzzy. Just a lot less sheltered.
WHAT WE SAID THEN
When we started working on the book, Red couldn’t find a photo of her and the girls, so they posed for one in the fall of 2004. Later, our book editor captured Red this way:
After getting a degree in Theater Arts, Red moved back in with her parents until she married an outgoing Englishman and followed his career around the globe. Now she lives in Sugar Land, a suburban city on the outskirts of Houston, Texas. Red is a warm and fuzzy mom whose life revolves around her two red-headed girls. With Red, it's all about the feelings.
WHAT WE DIDN’T KNOW THEN …
We knew Red was used to letting others take the lead. We didn’t know that once she took control, she’d discover how much she was capable of.
We knew her life revolved around her two red-headed girls. We didn’t know how much growing up was still ahead — for them and for Red.
We knew Red had learned a lot when her husband got fired. We probably should have known she’d want to use what she learned to help others.
And we described Red as “warm and fuzzy” and “all about the feelings. ”Still true. She’s just learned that sometimes warm and fuzzy isn’t enough.
AND THERE’S A STORY BEHIND THE PHOTO …
What makes this seemingly ordinary photo remarkable? Red’s in front of the camera!
She was almost always the one behind the camera, so when we needed a photo of her for the book, it had to be staged. In fact, she’s not even sure who took the photo.
At the time, it was simply a photo we needed. Looking at it now, it’s more than that. It captured Red in the middle of the life she’d always dreamed about — and when her girls were still young and being their mom was the center of her world.
She knew they would grow up. She just didn’t know how quickly that picture would become a memory.
A lot has changed since that photo was taken. Including Red.
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