Don't Drink And … Send

Photo by De an Sun on Unsplash

Something happened the other evening, and before I could become annoyed, I started laughing because I was "guilty" of the same offense … just not recently. Looking back at what, at the time, were my mortifying actions, I realized that anyone who drinks and types (whether email or text messages) has probably done it.

It has been proven that alcohol reduces your inhibitions – some people think they become charismatic, others become the world's greatest dancers (or lovers), while others believe they can see things with more clarity and need to share that knowledge. And, the list goes on. (I know that Red loves lists, but since she does not drink, the list would be impossible for her to understand … although many of us could see it as a checklist, "Yes, done that!")

So, have you ever been holding back your feelings (good or bad) about someone, and then one evening you have a little too much to drink and decide to let them know your inner-most thoughts? It could be a family member, a friend, someone at work, a romantic relationship (past, present, future "prospect"), or given social media, even a stranger. You let your thoughts and feelings run from your head (not sure the brain is involved, other than to help your fingers fly across the keyboard) through your electronic equipment … and then out into the world.

Sometimes you realize it almost immediately, and you futilely try to "recall" the message before they open it. More often, you do not see the error of your ways until the next day when you vaguely remember sending the message (or, possibly, multiples messages), clinging to the hope it was a bad dream … until you see it in your sent file. Or, even worse, finding a response, which you are not sure you want to read.

What made me laugh was that this time I was the recipient, not the sender (the first email was an expression of deep feelings, the second questioning if I had received the first one, both obviously alcohol-induced), and I decided not to let them off the hook. Since I had been out at a business dinner, several hours had passed, so I politely replied, questioning the reasonableness of each email and then asking if alcohol had been involved.

And, I could not help but wonder,

If there are car breathalyzer devices that require you to submit a breath sample, and if your alcohol level is at or above a preset level, it will prevent the vehicle from starting … should there not be similar devices that would inactive the "send" button on your computer or smartphone?

P.S. – I think Wikipedia's breathalyzer entry is fascinating, but doubt Red would agree.

decision making

Words & Banter

FOR YOUNG & OLD! Cancer Prevention. Not Just Words – A Mindset!

Image by filipefrazao on iStock

When you think of cancer, do you think that’s something only older people need to worry about?

Well, you’d be wrong because it’s alarming how many people under 50 are getting cancer. (Think Catherine, Princess of Wales.) And while the exact causes remain under investigation, what we do know is that early detection through cancer screenings is crucial.

It should be a priority for all of us (men and women) – and not only during Cancer Prevention Month but year-round.

red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I know that cancer isn’t the “death sentence” it used to be when we were growing up, but it’s still a very scary word. Especially if it’s heard “close to home”.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	When we were young, the word was rarely said. And if it was, it was whispered or referred to as the “ c-word.”
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Kind of like when I had my two miscarriages. No one wanted even to acknowledge, let alone talk about, them. Which made it all the more difficult to get through it, although intellectually, I knew it was not uncommon.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Unfortunately, neither is cancer. It is the second-leading cause of death in the world, surpassed only by heart disease. But, at least, it is no longer a taboo subject.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Please don’t make this about numbers. It’s about people. Which you should know. I’m sure you remember when Daddy was diagnosed with parotid gland cancer , which luckily was treatable. And I’ve had skin cancer, although I was very fortunate, it was caught early and easily treated.

Keep Reading ...Show less

health

Words & Banter

Using Your Heart … Or Brain?

Black “flipped” Rendering by porcorex on iStock

red head assets.rebelmouse.io

I know you don’t celebrate holidays, so I’m not going to ask you if you have any plans for Valentine’s Day, but you do know that February’s American Heart Month, right?

Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

Of course. Which means the American Heart Association’s “ Go Red” campaign is in full force. And, they are not talking about you. It is because heart disease is the leading cause of death – for both men and women.

red head assets.rebelmouse.io

Don’t you find it ironic that Valentine’s Day – a “fun” holiday about letting people you love and care about know that you’re thinking of them … a holiday filled with Hallmark cards, squishy teddy bears, chocolate hearts – falls in the middle of such a “serious” month-long awareness campaign?

Keep Reading ...Show less

health

Words & Banter

Believe It Or Not ... Dry January Has Nothing To Do With Weather

Photo by OnTheRunPhoto for iStock

Until two years ago, Red had never heard of “Dry January” (see our conversation below). But whether or not you’ve taken the challenge, it’s never too late to develop healthy habits. And, FYI, there’s also “Damp January.”

red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I keep getting emails about where to go for mocktails. I know alcohol-free cocktails, like Virgin Margaritas, have been around for a while, but I’d never heard that term before. Do you think it has to do with New Year’s resolutions?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	It can if any of your resolutions are to lose weight, save money, sleep better. Or, drink less. Psychologically, January is the month when we “reset”, so a UK-based organization, Alcohol Change UK , started Dry January , where you abstain from drinking alcohol.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Perfect timing since many people shop, eat, and drink more than usual over the holidays.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I know you used to drink a glass of Cold Duck on New Year’s Eve, a tradition going back to our childhood, but that hardly counts as drinking. But, I have always wondered why you rarely drink, but never asked.

Keep Reading ...Show less

food and drink

DON’T MISS A THING

For Red & Black Banter in your inbox ...

Black assets.rebelmouse.io	OK, I will not quote statistics, but it is important to realize that although cancer affects many people, that is all the more reason to try and prevent it. Or, catch it early.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Very early. I’m not sure I ever told you this, but when I had squamous cell carcinoma confirmed on my nose, it wasn’t because of an annual body screening. It was because I just thought something wasn’t right, even though I had gone to my family doctor and was told it wasn’t anything to worry about.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I thought you were always extremely conscientious about your annual cancer screenings, whether mammograms, Pap smears, or body checks.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	The first two, absolutely, ever since I was in my 30s. But it was only when I went to a dermatologist to check my nose that I realized the importance of having full body screenings, too. Especially since redheads are more susceptible to skin cancer. So, yes, now I go on an annual basis, although it was on a six-month basis for several years after I had to have Mohs surgery .
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, having routine cancer screenings, whether due to standard recommendations , because you think something is not right (after all, who knows your body better than you), or due to family history, has contributed to a decrease in cancer mortality rates . But, you do not want me to talk about numbers.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I don’t, but that’s great news! It just shows you how important it is to be proactive.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Exactly. And, as we learn more about cancer, we can adjust our lifestyles to lower the risk of getting cancer. For example, think of all the people who quit smoking to lower the risk of lung cancer. Of course, advances in medical treatment have made a huge difference. And, given my involvement with Make-A-Wish, I have watched with pure joy how the cancer death rate among kids and teens has dropped dramatically.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Wow, I had no idea! That really makes you stop and think, and makes me think about the cancer stories in movies and TV shows. And before you roll your eyes, and tell me my theater degree’s showing, it does make a difference when a subject like cancer is reflected in storylines. It lets audiences understand it on both an intellectual and emotional level. Which is very powerful.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	It is. When you think of the movie “ Love Story,” unless you read the book, you did not know that Ali McGraw’s character had leukemia. But, around the same time, there was a “made for TV” pseudo-documentary/movie, “ Brian’s Song ,” which is the first movie I can remember that talked about cancer. It made it an acceptable topic of discussion.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I’m impressed you remember those movies. There’ve been so many since then, not to mention celebrities who tell their cancer stories. But cancer being in the mainstream makes it so much easier to discuss. Not just as a society but personally, as I’ve taken advantage of those opportunities to talk with the girls about the importance of early detection , something Mommy never did with me.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	It was a very different time. Cancer was a “bad” word and potentially a “death” sentence. Today, the future is brighter, but it needs to be part of routine conversations.

Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Is it ironic or pragmatic? If you want to make sure you are around for the people you care about, you should think about being heart-healthy. Especially eating well and exercising.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I do, and the irony is I always knew what to do. It’s only been in the last year or so that I’ve finally found the motivation to keep it going for more than a few days. Somehow, it went from forcing myself to do it to a habit, and then, because I felt so much better, I became “addicted” to it.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	In other words, it went from you needing to do it to wanting to do it.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Is that why, when it comes to eating well and exercising, nothing ever seems to deter you?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Feeling better, yes. But, more because every morning, I walk into a large closet filled with size 2 clothing.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	That's funny.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	No, it is factual. I have been a clothes horse for decades, so have a significant investment hanging in my closet. And, since almost everything is timeless and classic, I would be extremely annoyed if it no longer fit.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, even if that’s something us “mere mortals” can’t relate to, at least it keeps you motivated. I never had anything like that in my life.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Really? I can name two things.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I’m not sure Natasha and Sawyer would want to be referred to as “things,” but I see your point. The funny thing is Sawyer is the one who got me started going to the gym and working out.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I tried for years, but am glad she had more luck.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I feel I did a better job staying fit when they were younger and truly needed me every day. Then again, maybe that was just because I always had to do a lot of running around. And I focused on healthy eating for all of us.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Sounds like excuses. Just because they no longer need you as cook and chauffeur, does not mean they do not need your life experience and unconditional love. Especially as they face the challenges of adulthood.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Are you trying to make me feel guilty or sad because I didn’t always focus on taking care of myself for them?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Neither. Merely pointing out we can always find reasons for not doing what we know we should do. Whether for ourselves or for the ones we love. Or both.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	It’s ironic; I always thought doing things for myself was selfish, but I now understand that if I don’t take care of myself first, I won’t be able to help others.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Exactly, and it does not matter if you use your heart or your brain to get to the right answer, does it?

red head assets.rebelmouse.io	That may be the only thing you haven’t asked me. It isn’t for any moral or health reasons; it’s because, even many decades later, I still have vivid memories of overdoing it at a fraternity dance at college. Although lately, I’ve been drinking more than normal.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	For you, that means more than one drink … a year.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Very funny, but pretty much true. However, after visiting Tennessee Hills Distillery in the fall, I did develop a taste for their flavored rum. So, between the ones I brought home and the bottles of Moscato that Natasha had delivered to me by Drizly as a surprise holiday gift, I’ve had more to drink this holiday season than ever before.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, I drank more this year, too. But, that is because, during COVID, I went over a year without a drink. For years, I used to go out to dinner several times a week and would always have a drink or two, but now do not go out as often. Combine that with a lack of dating, and my alcohol consumption is almost non-existent.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	But your condo has a pantry that you converted into a beautiful bar with all those liquor bottles on display. And you’ve collected wine for years.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Yes, it looks enticing, but I do not drink alone. Never have. But, if I did, I would probably need to hide the liquor, or put yellow “caution tape” in front of the bar during Dry January.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	That’s funny, but do you really think that people can go cold turkey for an entire month? That seems like a long time if you’re used to drinking on a regular basis.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Yes. Besides the fact many bars are taking advantage of Dry January to offer customers something new and different versus just alcohol-free versions of traditional cocktails, the demand for nonalcoholic beverages continues to increase as more people prioritize healthier lifestyles. Not to mention, many people now feel less social pressure to drink.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Please don’t start quoting statistics and studies! But don’t you think, come February, everyone will just go back to their “normal” habits?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Since you do not want me to mention any of the science, or the fact people are already drinking less , I will come at it another way. If once you start Dry January, you experience the health benefits, including more energy, why would you go back to your old habits?
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Because it’s a habit? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. But good points, especially as we all know drinking can lead to health problems . Not to mention the risks of driving under the influence of alcohol. But I’d think there’s still some peer pressure to drink socially.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	As more people are trying Dry January, or at least are aware of it, the more acceptable it becomes. And, the easier it is to find others to support you. Although sometimes you may need to avoid those people who do not.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, I’ve seen you drink this month. And you can’t blame it on me! What’s your excuse?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Dry January is not about having a perfect score. It is about reevaluating your relationship with alcohol. And, taking a night off does not mean the end of the effort. It just means it may be a Damp January.