After Christmas & Chanukah … there’s still Boxing Day & Kwanzaa
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Every year, Kwanzaa and Boxing Day are on December 26 (this year, it’s also the last day of Chanukah), which got Red thinking about how she has no clue what Kwanzaa’s all about, while Black was thinking the same thing … except about Boxing Day.
Red only recently became aware of Kwanzaa from, of all places, seeing Kwanzaa cards in her local Hallmark store. Many of them had candles on them, which made her think of Chanukah, where the lighting of the menorah for eight nights is not only a beautiful “ceremony” (who doesn’t love the flickering of candles and the beauty and “warmth” it brings to a room), but a reminder of the miracle of the oil that was supposed to last one day but lasted for eight. Then Black pointed out,
Unlike Christmas and Chanukah, religious holidays that go back centuries, Kwanzaa is a modern (created in 1966) cultural holiday. A seven-day celebration of Black people to honor their family, community, and culture, it includes the lighting of candles (one each night), with each representing one of the seven principles guiding Kwanzaa.
The thought of people celebrating two holidays – one based on their religious beliefs and one based on their heritage, each based on important values and priorities – reminded Red of Boxing Day. (She had been married to a Brit, lived in England for many years, and was fascinated by British history, although she preferred the Tudor era.) She had been told years ago that it started in the days of Queen Victoria, although some say it dates back even further. Regardless of when it began, the “why” of Boxing Day being the day after Christmas is,
As anyone that’s watched Downton Abbey (or any British series or movie that features the upper classes of a century or so ago) will know, while the wealthy enjoy a truly fabulous Christmas, their servants are the ones hard at work making it all happen. So, December 26 is when “the elite” would show their appreciation by giving their servants the day off, and small gifts of food, clothing, or cash.
And the holiday's name? Some say it came from the box the gifts were given in. Although Red also remembers hearing about the tradition of placing alms boxes near church doors requesting donations to help those in need, so maybe that’s where the name came from.
Unfortunately, much like Chanukah and Christmas, Boxing Day has now become about shopping and is one of England’s busiest shopping days. But we’re not going to let Black talk about the big business of the holidays, as there are more important things to think about …
This holiday season, regardless of what holiday (or holidays) you may celebrate, we hope you appreciate the true meaning of the celebration and enjoy the time to be with family and friends.
Today’s turbulent times for Jews may overshadow the celebration of the Jewish New Year, one of the holiest of the Jewish holidays. Yet, ironically, we feel it should strengthen its significance, as the holiday is a time for reflection on the past and hope for the future.
If you think today’s politics are ugly … let’s talk about a man who named himself “dictator for life” of the Roman empire, and is then assassinated by a group of senators, including his best friend. (However, there’s a “pretty” part – Cleopatra was his mistress.) Food trivia and leadership lessons aside, the fact July is named after him is the perfect excuse to rerun one of Red’s favorite Banter Bites …
Quick! If someone says "Julius Caesar," what comes to mind?
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Almost everyone has heard of Julius Caesar, but how many of us really know much about him, or at least that's what Red starts to wonder when she receives the usual flippant, but still accurate, reply from her sister, after feeling very proud that she knew that July was named after the famous Roman.
Which is what got Red to realize, much to her surprise (shock, if truth be told), that even as a straight-A student with a love of history, that when it came to Julius Caesar, a famous historical figure and possibly one of the greatest generals and statesmen of all time, she couldn't tell you dates or battles or anything "historical" associated with him.
Even as a theater major in college, she never read Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar," although she knew just enough about the play to know that it was where the fortune teller warned Caesar to "Beware the Ides of March." Instead, her knowledge of Caesar came from her love of movies.
My first, and probably my most enduring, memory is of a brilliant general who not only commanded armies as he conquered lands far from home but was a great statesman who was also involved with one of the world's most beautiful women. And while he was Julius Caesar and the woman was Cleopatra, to me, they'll always be Rex Harrison and Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra, a movie almost as controversial as the general himself.
And Black? Besides knowing that Caesar Salad was invented by a different Caesar, she appreciates Julius Caesar's leadership skills and way with words,
There is much we can learn about leadership from Julius Caesar, whether on the battlefield, in politics, or in business (start small, take risks, communicate well), including what ultimately led to his death (always consider worst-case scenarios, never get complacent or arrogant). Many of his quotes speak (pun intended) to his powerful way with words, and the ability to not only deliver a message but to inspire (and story tell), with my favorite being, "I came, I saw, I conquered."
We don’t know about you, but we hate bathing suit shopping. So, we can’t imagine what it must be like if you’re looking for a gender-fluid one. And why would anyone get their panties in a knot (as Black would say) if Target sells them? Or Pride-themed merchandise? But clearly, people did. Which makes us ask … why should Target have such a difficult time supporting their LGBTQ+ (there are variations of this acronym) customers? And, more importantly, why can’t we let people celebrate who they are without facing a backlash of prejudice and violence?!
Rainbows are beautiful and suggest something magical. But during Pride Month, they also become a symbol of love, support, and understanding for the LGBTQ community.
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Until yesterday, when Black explained it to her, Red, like many people, didn't realize that Pride Month evolved from a tragic event, the Stonewall Uprising, into both a tribute and a memorial before it became a worldwide celebration of the LGBTQ community.
In fact, Red believes that if she hadn't pursued a theater degree at college, she might have gone decades without getting to know someone that was gay. However, looking back, she's sure that she had high school classmates who would later be able to identify themselves as LGBTQ, but back then had to keep it a secret in fear of being bullied, ostracized, or possibly even disowned by their families.
I was a freshman at Wake Forest University, a Baptist school in North Carolina in 1980, so not someplace you would expect to find an outwardly gay person. However, I spent almost all of my time at the theater department, which is where I first met "Bryan." You couldn't help but become friends with him because he was so incredibly funny and talented. But there was something else about him, and although initially I couldn't quite put my finger on it, I soon realized that he was gay. I had grown up sheltered (that's an understatement) in a neighborhood that was almost exclusively Jews and Italians, and now was at a school that was even more "white bread" than that, but my only thought was, "Ok, cool, now I know a gay person."
Black, being five years older and having gone to school in New York City and then London, was more worldly than Red (that's not saying much), not to mention she tended to date much more than Red did.
I was at London Business School, and this was 1978, back when private clubs and discos (like Tramp's and Annabel's) were all the rage. One of the other Americans, Bob, a very handsome Black man, invited me to go clubbing with him. I got all dressed up for a night on the town, and the minute we walked into the first club, I felt like a kid in a candy store – it was filled with incredibly good-looking men, and I seemed to be one of the few women. The odds were in my favor. But then, the penny dropped, and I asked Bob if this was a gay club. It was, and I think it was his way of letting me know he was gay (or maybe he thought I already knew), but I thought it cruel. It was like being in that candy store, but being told you can look, but you cannot touch.
As Baby Boomers, our opinions and attitudes toward LGBTQ were influenced by our first encounters, so we saw them as people who merely had different sexual preferences. Full stop. Red's daughters, who are 18 and 22, laugh at the fact their mom and aunt can remember their "first time" as so many of their friends are LGBTQ. No big deal.
So, what can we each do to celebrate Pride Month and show our support? Of course, Red loves the idea of cooking, watching movies, and reading books, while Black knows there are many highly effective workplace activities. But what's most important is finding a way to commemorate and bring awareness to a population that includes our families, our friends, our neighbors, our communities.