Words & Banter

Using Your Heart … Or Brain?

Black “flipped” Rendering by porcorex on iStock

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I know you don’t celebrate holidays, so I’m not going to ask you if you have any plans for Valentine’s Day, but you do know that February’s American Heart Month, right?


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Of course. Which means the American Heart Association’s “ Go Red” campaign is in full force. And, they are not talking about you. It is because heart disease is the leading cause of death – for both men and women.


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Don’t you find it ironic that Valentine’s Day – a “fun” holiday about letting people you love and care about know that you’re thinking of them … a holiday filled with Hallmark cards, squishy teddy bears, chocolate hearts – falls in the middle of such a “serious” month-long awareness campaign?


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Is it ironic or pragmatic? If you want to make sure you are around for the people you care about, you should think about being heart-healthy. Especially eating well and exercising.

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I do, and the irony is I always knew what to do. It’s only been in the last year or so that I’ve finally found the motivation to keep it going for more than a few days. Somehow, it went from forcing myself to do it to a habit, and then, because I felt so much better, I became “addicted” to it.

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In other words, it went from you needing to do it to wanting to do it.

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Is that why, when it comes to eating well and exercising, nothing ever seems to deter you?

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Feeling better, yes. But, more because every morning, I walk into a large closet filled with size 2 clothing.

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That's funny.

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No, it is factual. I have been a clothes horse for decades, so have a significant investment hanging in my closet. And, since almost everything is timeless and classic, I would be extremely annoyed if it no longer fit.

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Well, even if that’s something us “mere mortals” can’t relate to, at least it keeps you motivated. I never had anything like that in my life.

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Really? I can name two things.

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I’m not sure Natasha and Sawyer would want to be referred to as “things,” but I see your point. The funny thing is Sawyer is the one who got me started going to the gym and working out.

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I tried for years, but am glad she had more luck.


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I feel I did a better job staying fit when they were younger and truly needed me every day. Then again, maybe that was just because I always had to do a lot of running around. And I focused on healthy eating for all of us.


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Sounds like excuses. Just because they no longer need you as cook and chauffeur, does not mean they do not need your life experience and unconditional love. Especially as they face the challenges of adulthood.


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Are you trying to make me feel guilty or sad because I didn’t always focus on taking care of myself for them?

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Neither. Merely pointing out we can always find reasons for not doing what we know we should do. Whether for ourselves or for the ones we love. Or both.

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It’s ironic; I always thought doing things for myself was selfish, but I now understand that if I don’t take care of myself first, I won’t be able to help others.


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Exactly, and it does not matter if you use your heart or your brain to get to the right answer, does it?
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Tonight is the first night of Chanukah (FYI, there are multiple "correct" spellings), and while Red may be celebrating the Festival of Lights with potato latkes (pancakes), when she lights the menorah to symbolize bringing light into darkness, she’ll be laughing at Black’s car analogy …



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At the risk of Black coming up with another potato analogy, for me, Chanukah's all about potato latkes. The childhood memories of our dad grating pounds and pounds of potatoes to the point where I'm not sure I could see our kitchen table, many decades later, my eldest daughter taste-testing latkes from an assortment of places. (I love to cook, but latkes are a lot of work.)

Of course, the lighting of the menorah is also such a special part of the holiday celebration, whether the electric menorah that my parents had where you would "twist" each light bulb as the nights progressed or the more traditional menorah with candles that my daughters and I light each year (and never leave unattended).


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I never cease to be amazed by the miracle of Chanukah (regardless of whether you spell it Chanukah or Hanukkah, or some other variation) and how the oil that was only supposed to last one day instead lasted for eight days. It is as if your cellphone indicated it is at 12% but lasts eight days. Or, if the gas gauge in your car indicates you have 25 miles left, but you are able to drive 200 miles. Sometimes things happen that defy logic, and that is where faith takes over. And, a belief in something bigger than all of us.

Tomorrow is the start of Chanukah, the Festival of Lights, which celebrates hope and miracles – and who could not use hope and miracles?

Happy Chanukah!

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Every year on #GivingTuesday, Red tells Black that she knows how important giving is – whether time or money – but, unlike Black, she doesn’t have a meaningful charity that’s been part of her life for decades. We often “repeat” the conversation below, but this year, Black suggested that Red use #GivingTuesday to think about what charity inspires her or holds special meaning, and then get involved. Making it personal often ends up making it a year-round passion rather than a one-off obligation.

But no matter how you approach charity, beware of potential scammers. And, if in doubt — check them out! (Black likes GuideStar and Charity Navigator.)



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I know today’s Giving Tuesday, but what I always find so amazing is how you treat every day as “Giving Tuesday."


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What makes you say that? I do not donate to an organization or charity every day.


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You’re always so literal. I meant that the spirit of “giving to others”, whether donating or providing support in some way, seems to be part of your daily life.


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I think you are exaggerating.
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Underlying photo by Alleko on iStock

What’s so funny about the holiest day in Judaism, Yom Kippur, the “Day of Atonement”? A day where you fast as a way to help you deeply reflect on your past year, asking forgiveness, and then promising to do better.

Well, technically, nothing is funny about the holiday, but every time we think of this speaking engagement, it makes us laugh (as it did our audience) …



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I know that Yom Kippur isn't exactly known as one of the "fun" Jewish holidays, but every year, I can't help but laugh at what's easily my number one Yom Kippur memory.


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That is what makes memories … memorable. And, finding something to laugh at on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, which is probably the most important and solemn Jewish holiday, would be memorable.


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I can't believe you're not even curious what it is!?
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