There's a line towards the end of The Shawshank Redemption, one of my all-time favorite movies, when the character Andy Dufresne, played by Tim Robbins, writes in a letter, "Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things …" And, although the "Red" is not me, for some reason, it has always stayed with me, not only because it comes when the Red character, played by Morgan Freeman, is feeling particularly hopeless, but because it's a simple yet very powerful statement.
So, it didn't surprise me when my youngest daughter and I were at Belmont University in Nashville for freshman orientation a few months ago, and I listened to their new president, Dr. Greg Jones, welcome us with a message of hope. He spoke passionately of the power of hope and imagination, the promise of things being better, even while living in turbulent times, and how opportunity and optimism for a brighter future are always possible.
So, in the poignant setting of an auditorium of students and parents preparing for the next stage of their respective lives, it not only resonated but, well, made me think of Andy Dufresne and how he'd probably agree with Dr. Jones and his vision for Belmont to be a catalyst to "Let Hope Abound."
A week ago, I was back at Belmont, this time to drop off my daughter, and I lingered on for a few extra days (no, I wasn't being a clingy mom as it was her request so we could celebrate her first day of classes which fell on my birthday). And even though I wholeheartedly believed in the words of hope as expressed by both Dr. Jones and the character of Andy, part of me was feeling more like the character of Red. Well, that might be a bit dramatic as I didn't actually feel hopeless, just sad.
It was bittersweet. A commonly used word to describe chocolate that's both bitter and sweet at the same time, it was also the perfect way to explain the situation as I felt both hope for the future yet also sadness. Unsure of how to let the "positive" be the focus of my thoughts. And while I knew that thousands (and thousands) of parents were feeling the same way I was, it didn't seem to make it any better. Until …
The night of my birthday, having said our final goodbyes after dinner, my daughter insisted that I should take a final walk around the campus instead of immediately going back to the hotel. Belmont's a beautiful campus, and I smiled as I passed students having impromptu "jam" sessions on the lawns and in gazebos. I walked past a security guard who was obviously enjoying a conversation with a student. And everywhere I walked, there were "flags" proclaiming "Let Hope Abound."
And as I thought to myself that maybe the walk was my daughter's way of letting me know that all would be good, I hear the ping of a perfectly-timed text from my daughter letting me know she was going to meet me and walk with me to the car.
Yes, Andy Dufresne. Yes, Dr. Jones. You're both so right. Hope's a good thing, maybe the best of things. Not only for my daughter and me as we each start new chapters in our lives … but for all college freshmen and their families. Let hope abound!
What does Thanksgiving have to do with shoes?! Or, the fact some of Red’s most memorable Thanksgiving celebrations happened when she lived overseas and introduced the holiday to friends, none of whom were American. But this column from 2022 is bittersweet for Black, as shortly after it ran, her good friend John passed away … yet the memories of Thanksgivings spent together – and of dear friends – live on. (But that still doesn’t explain the shoes …)
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | At the risk of asking you a warm and fuzzy question, have you thought about what you’re most thankful for this Thanksgiving? |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Yes. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | I should’ve guessed that you’d take the question literally. Could you expand on that a little, or at least give me a hint? |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Friends. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | I should’ve guessed that too since John’s been in the hospital for the past several weeks and is one of your oldest friends. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Not sure “oldest” is the kindest way to define it, but he and his wife have been my closest friends for over 35 years. To the point that John calls me his “second wife,” although he’s only been legally married once. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | That’s funny, but on my recent fall foliage trip, I realized it was so much more than chasing leaves as I experienced the joy and appreciation of visiting a dear friend and her family. And while phone calls, texting, and even FaceTime are great, it’s just not the same as spending time together. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | I was going to mention that when you first told me you were going to see Sawyer in Nashville and also spend some time at Amy’s in east Tennessee, but figured you already knew that friendships can easily be taken for granted … until something makes you fully appreciate them. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | That’s so true. Although I prefer to have a small group of friends, and most of mine I’ve known for decades – either from elementary school, college, or my years living in Hong Kong. Unfortunately, though, none of them now live near me. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Friends do not require living in the same town, although that is usually how friendships begin. And, while we may not stay in touch as frequently as we want, over time, we see who our true friends are … they are the ones who are always there for us, during good times and bad. And, in my case, are brave enough to point out when they do not agree with me. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Very brave. My friends have it easier, but I count on them to give me an honest perspective no matter what, although I prefer when they agree with me. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Of course, you do. And, your friends should be thankful you are so easygoing. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Well, at the risk of sounding corny, with Thanksgiving just days away, it’s the perfect time to be truly thankful for our dear friends. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | It reminds me of the photo that Natasha sent us last year when she was celebrating “ Friendsgiving” with her friends in England. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Besides not realizing it was an actual thing and not Natasha combining the words “friends” and “Thanksgiving,” I was expecting photos of her attempt at making sweet potatoes or other traditional Thanksgiving foods , or maybe a bunch of Brits sitting around the table with the lone American. Not a photo of everyone’s shoes in the entry hallway. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | I never thought of Thanksgiving as being “all about the shoes”, but that image sums up the true meaning of the holiday. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Tell the truth; everything’s always all about the shoes for you. But, given this Thanksgiving will be the first without Mom, the image’s a wonderful reminder of the importance of friends who’ve been there for me this year. And I include you as both family and friend. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | Once is enough for me. And, as the saying goes, you cannot choose your family but (like shoes) you can choose your friends. So, pick carefully, and then appreciate them. |
Take a moment and imagine not being able to read this sentence. Now, think about this … if you’re reading this, you’re doing something millions of Americans can’t.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io |
I’ll admit that I never realized how many people can’t read.
It’s something I’ve always taken for
granted. That’s until Black and I met
someone doing something about it – Jackie Aguilera, now the Project Manager for
the Mayor’s Office of Adult
Literacy (Houston). Her focus
wasn’t only on reading literacy but on “literacies” I’d never heard of, such as
financial literacy, health literacy, and digital literacy. But it all starts
with the ability to read. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io |
It
is called functional
literacy. Obviously, if you
are reading this article, you are on the internet. Which has more information than anyone can
possibly absorb (and is why news literacy is so critical). Now,
imagine if you could not read. All that
information … just sitting there.
Available to others, but not to you. |
red head assets.rebelmouse.io |
Books are my great escape. Always have been. So, I can’t
imagine a life without them. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io |
A great escape … in many ways. You may use it to escape from the stresses of
daily life or just as entertainment. But,
books and, more specifically, the ability to read is how people can escape a
life of poverty and limited opportunities.
|
red head assets.rebelmouse.io | Working with Jackie made me see that. As did our work with the criminal justice system, as so many incarcerated people struggle to read. And I know you’re a data geek, but please don’t start quoting me statistics. |
Black assets.rebelmouse.io | OK, no statistics, but did you know that more people in the US are affected by low literacy (meaning they cannot read at a sixth-grade level) than are diagnosed with cancer or heart disease? |
Over the years, as we’ve learned how many people can’t read (including one in three Houstonians), it’s made us stop and think about how that impacts every aspect of their lives … their families … their communities. And also … our communities and our country.
As former First Lady Barbara Bush said many years ago,
If you help a person to read, then their opportunities in life will be endless.
Because now is the time to decide what direction we want to take our country. RED & BLACK … A Time For Independence is about the spirit of independence. And four years later, we feel it’s very sad (and very scary) that our sentiments about our country’s leaders having the strength, courage, and conviction to be independent thinkers are still relevant. Maybe even more than ever before.