Did you ever notice that if you rearrange the letters in “hug” you get … “ugh”?
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: We started to ask how can something as simple yet meaningful as a hug not get universal acceptance, but then realized that was a ridiculous question because Red thinks about hugs very differently than Black.
Besides the fact both of us describe Red as a warm and fuzzy mom, emphasis on the words “warm and fuzzy”, Red strongly believes that hugs are an integral part of who she is. To the point that Black, as well as Red’s kids, think Red should wear a warning label that a big ole’ mom hug could be coming your way.
And Red’s proud of it, and although hugging comes to her naturally, she believes you can learn to be a hugger. Her challenge was the opposite because when COVID struck, she had to learn how to not be a hugger. But she did laugh (and roll her eyes) at Black’s dilemma,
Before the pandemic, I tried to avoid hugging (you already know I find it selfish – in that it is usually the person who needs a hug who insists on hugging), so COVID was the perfect excuse not to hug people. Now when I avoid hugs, people think I am either a germophobe or overly cautious, neither of which is true. Good thing I do not care what people think.
Red decided not to point out to her sister that she knows Black will hug someone if she feels they need it, or at least let them hug her; however, the body language can be amusing. But it wasn’t until Red had children that she learned Black wasn’t an anomaly and that not everyone needs or wants a hug. Still, she questions how she could have given birth to two daughters, with neither having “inherited” the hugging gene.
The funny thing is Black’s willing to acknowledge that, for most people, hugs represent affection, concern, love, appreciation, or even just the joy of seeing someone. Of course, she had to add the science behind the importance of hugs, including how they can relieve stress, amongst other health benefits. And even mentioned a specific study she found fascinating.
So, given that science supports hugging, Red couldn’t understand why Black still resisted hugging, and when she worked up the nerve to ask, Black explained,
We all know what we should do but often ignore what is best for us. When it comes to hugging, I will sometimes compromise and do it for the other person, so I guess you could say my approach to hugs is … it is better to give than to receive.
Which made Red wonder if Black is the one who should come with a warning label.
When was the last time you thought about safety (whether being prepared in case of a fire in your house or merely trying to avoid preventable injuries at work or home)? Yes, it’s boring … but the time to think about it isn’t AFTER the fact.
P.S. – Did you know that June is National Safety Month? Although we could argue that it should be every month.
We all know that when people post quotes or testimonials, it’s often a marketing device. But the truth is, getting feedback, and especially stories, about Red & Black from others is eye-opening. And often what keeps Red going when she faces days of frustration (and piles of paper) with all the work associated with Red & Black being a start-up company.
Every time someone tells Red how her crisis, and how she learned to take control of her life, has helped them, it gives her a warm and fuzzy feeling. And how does Black respond?
Great quote. Save it somewhere. And, make a note that we need to create a form to make it easier for people to give us feedback — both positive and negative, as how else can we improve?
So, when creating the Quotes & Feedback section, we thought about playing off our tagline “real sisters. real life.” and calling it “real feedback.” Which, as most things do, got us on a (slight) tangent about “why” (Black’s favorite word) Red & Black is resonating with people. And although that may become a post one day, it doesn’t change the fact that we love hearing from those of you who have experienced Red & Black because you speak from a place of authenticity and credibility.
Looking back (which Red loves to do, while Black prefers looking forward), if we had realized the journey we were about to take when Black turned Red’s crisis into a brand, we’d have saved all the feedback in one place. And Black would have probably used an Excel spreadsheet to organize it. Instead, we often find it when looking for something else.
It has come from “real people” who’ve looked to Red & Black for their own enjoyment, but also from individuals (educators and students) in education settings, as well as community and religious organizations. But some of the most eye-opening feedback has come from those in the criminal justice world – both on the “inside” and “outside”.
Sign up on the sticky bar at the bottom of the page to be one of the first to receive our feedback form, as we really do love hearing from you on all things Red & Black! Plus, it’s an easy way to get a little bit of Red & Black delivered to you every week.
JUST LIKE MOM?
One of the things that drove Red crazy growing up was when our mother asked everyone questions. Lots and lots of questions. But that was because Red was a quiet, unassuming child who disliked attention of any sort. However, as she grew up, she realized how else do you find answers? Black, on the other hand, rarely asks personal questions, figuring if you want her to know something, you’ll volunteer it. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t ask questions. Lots and lots of questions. (WARNING! Her favorite one is, “Why?”)
OUR FAVORITE QUESTIONS …
Our favorite part of Speaking Engagements is when we open it up to questions from the audience, and, more often than not, we run out of time before we run out of questions. Many times, the questions are predictable (Did Red’s husband ever get a job?) and sometimes they’re not what we expected (What did Black learn from Red? FYI, she had to pause before answering). However, given Black turned Red’s crisis into a book — a brand — a business, we haven’t gotten a question that we refused to answer. (Note: Please do NOT take that as a challenge.)
We’ve also done countless media interviews, and the questions from media professionals are not very different from the ones at speaking engagements. However, many of them provide us with an opportunity to share food for thought and “instantly actionable” suggestions, so we’ll share the “better” questions with you.
QUESTIONS WE ASK EACH OTHER?
If you’re wondering if we ever generate the questions, the answer is “yes.” Why? Because sometimes one of us wants to know how the other one would answer it. Typically, Black’s curious about Red’s self-proclaimed “mere mortal” take on a topic, but sometimes it’s Red needing a non-emotional perspective.
SEND US YOUR QUESTIONS!
We love questions. And, yes, you can submit one. (Red gets very excited when they arrive in her inbox.)
If you receive our newsletter, you’re part of the group we invite to send questions to Red, Black, or both of us.
We read them almost immediately. (Red insists.) From there, we select the questions most likely to resonate with our community — ones that are useful, thought-provoking, or simply fun.
Because the goal isn’t just to respond. It’s to make it worth sharing.
P. S. — If you want to be part of this community, sign up on the sticky bar at the bottom of this page.
Don’t Expect A Compliment From A Sarcastic Sister — But Have A Comeback