Banter Bites

Hug At Your Own Risk

Did you ever notice that if you rearrange the letters in “hug” you get … “ugh”?

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: We started to ask how can something as simple yet meaningful as a hug not get universal acceptance, but then realized that was a ridiculous question because Red thinks about hugs very differently than Black.

Besides the fact both of us describe Red as a warm and fuzzy mom, emphasis on the words “warm and fuzzy”, Red strongly believes that hugs are an integral part of who she is. To the point that Black, as well as Red’s kids, think Red should wear a warning label that a big ole’ mom hug could be coming your way.

And Red’s proud of it, and although hugging comes to her naturally, she believes you can learn to be a hugger. Her challenge was the opposite because when COVID struck, she had to learn how to not be a hugger. But she did laugh (and roll her eyes) at Black’s dilemma,

Before the pandemic, I tried to avoid hugging (you already know I find it selfish – in that it is usually the person who needs a hug who insists on hugging), so COVID was the perfect excuse not to hug people. Now when I avoid hugs, people think I am either a germophobe or overly cautious, neither of which is true. Good thing I do not care what people think.

Red decided not to point out to her sister that she knows Black will hug someone if she feels they need it, or at least let them hug her; however, the body language can be amusing. But it wasn’t until Red had children that she learned Black wasn’t an anomaly and that not everyone needs or wants a hug. Still, she questions how she could have given birth to two daughters, with neither having “inherited” the hugging gene.

The funny thing is Black’s willing to acknowledge that, for most people, hugs represent affection, concern, love, appreciation, or even just the joy of seeing someone. Of course, she had to add the science behind the importance of hugs, including how they can relieve stress, amongst other health benefits. And even mentioned a specific study she found fascinating.

So, given that science supports hugging, Red couldn’t understand why Black still resisted hugging, and when she worked up the nerve to ask, Black explained,

We all know what we should do but often ignore what is best for us. When it comes to hugging, I will sometimes compromise and do it for the other person, so I guess you could say my approach to hugs is … it is better to give than to receive.

Which made Red wonder if Black is the one who should come with a warning label.

hugs
Banter Bites

Is Every Day Sadie Hawkins Day? Yes!

Sadie Hawkins Day … some may find it sexist. Some may find it inspirational. Others just nostalgic. Our take on it hasn’t changed since we first issued this post. But if you asked Black for a car analogy (she always has one), she’d tell you it’s about taking the wheel and leading the way …

Comic strip or reality show: A group of bachelors participates in a foot race, and whoever's caught by the single woman in the race will become her husband.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: We may be sisters, but except for growing up with the same parents in the same house in New York, that may be where the similarities end; especially in terms of dating "protocol" as Black never thought twice about asking boys (and later men) out on a date, while Red never gave it any thought, accepting the convention that boys did the asking. (She did make an exception for her senior prom but was shocked when he accepted.)

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holidays
Words & Banter

Witching You Happy Halloween Memories — No Tricks, Just Treats

Photo courtesy of Red

Red’s daughters may no longer live at home, but that doesn’t stop her from continuing to decorate the house (inside and out). Not only because the small children in her neighborhood love it, but the older “kids” (including Red and Black) do, too …



Red assets.rebelmouse.io

Ghosts, goblins, and pumpkins are everywhere you look! Not the ads and not the neighborhood; I’m talking about my decorations. Plus, I indulge in all the Halloween-theme food (OK, really all the pumpkin spice things) because I love Halloween!

But I also love all the Halloween memories, which I’m reminded of every time I look out the window of my “workroom” and see our annual Halloween inflatable. And I’m not the only one who loves it because over the years, whenever it gets “old and tired” (I can relate), my daughters have insisted I replace it with an identical one. At over 6 feet tall, it towers over me, and the three ghosts popping out of a pumpkin are scary but in a friendly way. But the best part? On any given day, I can hear little kids in our neighborhood walking by with their mom or dad and stopping and “squealing” with delight. Which makes me smile because I know it’s becoming a future memory for them.

My other outdoor decoration doesn’t seem to get quite the same attention, although it always makes me smile. As in every single time I pull into my driveway. You’d think, after all these years, this witch would know how to drive, but clearly not. Or maybe she was just distracted by the ghosts.


Black assets.rebelmouse.io

I have always loved Red’s “bad driver” witch, partly because I love all things driving-related (OK, I will ignore the fact she crashed), but also because it originally was my decoration when I was married, and my stepdaughters were young.

People (of all ages) who celebrate Halloween may enjoy the decorations, candy (we all have our favorites), or even trick or treating, but my favorite part was always the candy-swapping negotiations. Originally, when Red and I were growing up, then my stepdaughters, and ultimately Red’s daughters. It is interesting how sibling rivalries and differences are put aside on Halloween and replaced with very business-like trade negotiations. Not to mention strategizing over return visits to houses that have the best candy.

And our Halloween wishes for you? (Guess who wrote “witch” one!)

  • No matter what you choose to do today or how you celebrate, we wish you a happy and safe Halloween and hope you have an opportunity to create wonderful memories for the years to come.
  • Trick or treat? Why not both? Happy Halloween!
holidays
Ask Red & Black

Asking Again: Is one of you “the boss”?

FULL QUESTION: Asking Again: I love how Red & Black is run by two sisters. Is one of you “the boss”?

We thought this would be the perfect question to rerun on National Boss’s Day. Why? Well, we think the responses below say it all …



Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io

Oh yes, definitely! Without question, that would be Black. In fact, on more than one occasion, I've been known to refer to her as The Boss (and I'm not talking about Bruce Springsteen). It's usually me kidding around and saying something along the lines of "I'll have to check with The Boss." (Even my daughters have heard me refer to their aunt that way, and they've never questioned me, so there must be some agreement, at least in my family, about who's the boss.)

To a great extent, it may be because if you were to compare our bios, I don't think my background as a mom prepared me to be a businesswoman, although Black has tried to convince me otherwise. On the other hand, Black's bio makes it painfully obvious she's "all business" so better suited to be "the boss."


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


It depends on how you define "boss." If you are referring to who owns more of the company, I hold 1% more than Red, which technically means I have more"authority". And, I will admit that as the older sister, I have more practice being bossy (especially as she has always tried to avoid conflict), but when it comes to business, I value teamwork. Red has a perspective and background very different than mine (that is an understatement!), but the key is acknowledging that – and learning from one another in order to make the best business decisions.

The bottom line is there would be no Red & Black … without Red or without Black. It is truly a partnership.
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