Life rarely goes as planned. Sometimes, unplanned events only cause minor adjustments. But sometimes, they can put you in “crisis mode” and might require major transformations. Like the rainy Friday when Red’s husband came home and told her, totally unexpected, that he had been fired. In a split second, her life went from fairy tale to nightmare.
So, whether you freak out (Red’s default setting) or are feeling overwhelmed and uncertain where to start, when we relaunch this site in the New Year, there will be a section called **IT HAPPENS. Filled with tips and tools (and, of course, food for thought), we hope it will help you survive and thrive during even the most stressful life events.
Because we’ve experienced them, we know that a “crisis” can come in many different forms (financial, work, relationship, health, natural disaster, the list goes on), and what starts as one issue often impacts many aspects of your life. But, as Black recently explained to Red,
Every situation is different, but you can approach them in a similar way, although I did not tell you that at the time. I did not even let you know we were going through the steps one-by-one because, in your case, I knew we first had to deal with the emotional aspects. And, when I told you I thought your “crisis” would be the best thing that ever happened to you, you thought I was being nice. Even though I do not do nice.
Well, Black may not “do nice”, but she did help Red through her “crisis”, and along the way, managed to help Red see that adjusting her mindset and perspective could make all the difference.
However, if you’re currently in a difficult situation (or just curious about how Black guided Red), knowing what’s coming next year doesn’t help you now. So, we hope the following posts might help make things a little better.
- Red’s Crisis ... Black’s Advice
- My husband and I always argue about money. Any advice?
- Expect Reality, Not Perfection
- Come Hell Or High Water … Or Both
- Have You Ever Wanted A Second Chance? Or A “Do Over”?
Over the years (and much to our surprise), we’ve found that many of the ideas and approaches Black shared with Red to help her deal with an assortment of topics are resonating with people of all ages. (Red will be the first to tell you that Black sees things differently than most people … while Black just sees herself as extremely pragmatic.) It may be because many are what Red describes as "instantly actionable" items or “duh” moments. Others may simply get you to stop and think. But that, too, is a good thing. So, we created this LEARNING FOR LIFE section.
LOTS OF LISTS
Red will be the first to admit that she’s learned that lists for the sake of having lists is not productive. But over the years, we’ve been told our lists are often valuable checklists. Some were ones Black created for Red when she was going through her “crisis” (Red’s word, not Black’s), while others were created when we were teaching at KIPP Houston High School. But over the years, we’ve developed ones in response to conversations we’ve had with people, although Black may come up with lists just to get you thinking.
CONVERSATION STARTERS
People told us they’re using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others — family, friends, at work, and even in classrooms — so Black created CONVERSATION STARTERS. Each provides our perspectives but then lists some “leading questions” to get the conversation started.
We all have those days when we feel life is out of control, so we’ll continue to provide you with information and tools that we hope you’ll not only enjoy and find useful, but also want to share.
Technically, they’re weekly newsletters, but readers have told us they get them thinking — get them talking — get them taking action, so sign up on the "sticky bar" at the bottom of the page.
Right now, these excerpts come from our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired! But, over time, we’ll be adding excerpts from other Red & Black books.
We struggled with which ones to include, as everyone seems to have a different favorite, and the topics in our book are so varied. (Don’t believe us? Check out the Table of Contents.)
So, we decided to start sharing what people ask for most — the stories people seem to enjoy at our speaking engagements, the ones adult literacy educators use in their classrooms, the ones you tell us are entertaining, but also get you thinking.
Book Bites aren’t just highlights. They’re stories that resonate and spark conversations.
Each excerpt is meant to stand on its own — to be useful and/or amusing, and worth your time. We hope they not only give you some insight into the very different personalities of Red and Black (if you find Red unbelievably naïve and Black extremely sarcastic, don’t worry, most people do), but also give you different ways of looking at things.
WHY ARE WE GIVING AWAY SO MUCH FREE CONTENT?
Red initially wondered that, too. But then decided that if these stories helped others, she was good with it. For Black, she finds it very annoying when authors reference an excerpt or a story and then say, “To find out the details, buy the book.”
That said, if you do want the full story … you can find What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired! in the Red & Black Shop, including autographed copies. And if you need bulk sales? It’s as easy as contacting Red (the nice one) at Red@RedandBlack.email.
JUST LIKE MOM?
One of the things that drove Red crazy growing up was when our mother asked everyone questions. Lots and lots of questions. But that was because Red was a quiet, unassuming child who disliked attention of any sort. However, as she grew up, she realized how else do you find answers? Black, on the other hand, rarely asks personal questions, figuring if you want her to know something, you’ll volunteer it. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t ask questions. Lots and lots of questions. (WARNING! Her favorite one is, “Why?”)
OUR FAVORITE QUESTIONS …
Our favorite part of Speaking Engagements is when we open it up to questions from the audience, and, more often than not, we run out of time before we run out of questions. Many times, the questions are predictable (Did Red’s husband ever get a job?) and sometimes they’re not what we expected (What did Black learn from Red? FYI, she had to pause before answering). However, given Black turned Red’s crisis into a book — a brand — a business, we haven’t gotten a question that we refused to answer. (Note: Please do NOT take that as a challenge.)
We’ve also done countless media interviews, and the questions from media professionals are not very different from the ones at speaking engagements. However, many of them provide us with an opportunity to share food for thought and “instantly actionable” suggestions, so we’ll share the “better” questions with you.
QUESTIONS WE ASK EACH OTHER?
If you’re wondering if we ever generate the questions, the answer is “yes.” Why? Because sometimes one of us wants to know how the other one would answer it. Typically, Black’s curious about Red’s self-proclaimed “mere mortal” take on a topic, but sometimes it’s Red needing a non-emotional perspective.
SEND US YOUR QUESTIONS!
We love questions. And, yes, you can submit one. (Red gets very excited when they arrive in her inbox.)
If you receive our newsletter, you’re part of the group we invite to send questions to Red, Black, or both of us.
We read them almost immediately. (Red insists.) From there, we select the questions most likely to resonate with our community — ones that are useful, thought-provoking, or simply fun.
Because the goal isn’t just to respond. It’s to make it worth sharing.
P. S. — If you want to be part of this community, sign up on the sticky bar at the bottom of this page.
Staying Real … On Social Media?