Words & Banter

Life Happens … **IT HAPPENS

Life rarely goes as planned. Sometimes, unplanned events only cause minor adjustments. But sometimes, they can put you in “crisis mode” and might require major transformations. Like the rainy Friday when Red’s husband came home and told her, totally unexpected, that he had been fired. In a split second, her life went from fairy tale to nightmare.

So, whether you freak out (Red’s default setting) or are feeling overwhelmed and uncertain where to start, when we relaunch this site in the New Year, there will be a section called **IT HAPPENS. Filled with tips and tools (and, of course, food for thought), we hope it will help you survive and thrive during even the most stressful life events.

Because we’ve experienced them, we know that a “crisis” can come in many different forms (financial, work, relationship, health, natural disaster, the list goes on), and what starts as one issue often impacts many aspects of your life. But, as Black recently explained to Red,

Every situation is different, but you can approach them in a similar way, although I did not tell you that at the time. I did not even let you know we were going through the steps one-by-one because, in your case, I knew we first had to deal with the emotional aspects. And, when I told you I thought your “crisis” would be the best thing that ever happened to you, you thought I was being nice. Even though I do not do nice.

Well, Black may not “do nice”, but she did help Red through her “crisis”, and along the way, managed to help Red see that adjusting her mindset and perspective could make all the difference.

However, if you’re currently in a difficult situation (or just curious about how Black guided Red), knowing what’s coming next year doesn’t help you now. So, we hope the following posts might help make things a little better.

P.S. – In case you missed it, here’s a link to the description of THE DAILY HELP, which includes helpful hints you can use now.
crisis
Learning For Life

The Fact Is ... Don't Use Facts

When we talked about how to change other people's minds in To Change Minds … Change Your Approach?, Red was shocked to learn that Black, her highly pragmatic (albeit extremely sarcastic) sister, who often thinks of disagreements as sport, actually suggested using approaches that seemed more in keeping with Red's "style" as a warm and fuzzy mom, who goes out of her way to avoid conflict.

Of course, that led to us talking (initially, Black thought Red just wanted to bask in the light of being right, but quickly realized that the straight-A student wanted to understand the approach better), and we ultimately created the following list because we both love lists.

Keep Reading ...Show less
communication
Learning For Life

Red's Crisis

Design by Sawyer Pennington

Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking.


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io



In some ways, it seems like decades ago that my husband got fired. In other ways, it seems like yesterday. I had never felt so scared. So confused.So out of control. I thought he’d work for the company where he had been for years until he retired, and by then we’d have a second home and would live happily ever after. It never occurred to me that anything could change that plan. Everything seemed perfect. Then, seemingly in an instant, the future I had counted on disappeared. And my life became a living nightmare.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io





Yes, and as I told you at the time … you needed to calm down. I said that a lot. Still do. Anyway, I remember telling you to take a deep breath … and that you would get through it. And, you did, although you constantly questioned whether you could.

THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
  • Your life can change in an instant. Can you be prepared? How can you plan for the unknown?
  • What are other unplanned life events?
  • What's one thing you can control when life feels out of control?
red's crisis
Learning For Life

Don’t Confuse Time Alone With Time Away!

Design by Sawyer Pennington

Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking.


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


I need to vent! Between work and family, I'm constantly busy. And I feel like I'm always needed by someone for something! Which normally is ok, as that's my life. But sometimes all the everyday things keep piling up to the point it’s overwhelming, and I feel totally stressed. I just need some time alone!


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io




No, you need time away.


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Same thing.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


No. Not really. “Time alone” means without anyone with you. So, running errands without the girls or working alone in your office would be time alone. But, what you need is … “time away”. In other words, time with no other objective than doing something for yourself. Even if that is doing nothing.

THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
  • When was the last time you did something by yourself that was just for yourself?
  • Is taking "time away" selfish?
  • Can knowing you have blocked off "time away" help with managing stress today?
stress