Life rarely goes as planned. Sometimes, unplanned events only cause minor adjustments. But sometimes, they can put you in “crisis mode” and might require major transformations. Like the rainy Friday when Red’s husband came home and told her, totally unexpected, that he had been fired. In a split second, her life went from fairy tale to nightmare.
So, whether you freak out (Red’s default setting) or are feeling overwhelmed and uncertain where to start, when we relaunch this site in the New Year, there will be a section called **IT HAPPENS. Filled with tips and tools (and, of course, food for thought), we hope it will help you survive and thrive during even the most stressful life events.
Because we’ve experienced them, we know that a “crisis” can come in many different forms (financial, work, relationship, health, natural disaster, the list goes on), and what starts as one issue often impacts many aspects of your life. But, as Black recently explained to Red,
Every situation is different, but you can approach them in a similar way, although I did not tell you that at the time. I did not even let you know we were going through the steps one-by-one because, in your case, I knew we first had to deal with the emotional aspects. And, when I told you I thought your “crisis” would be the best thing that ever happened to you, you thought I was being nice. Even though I do not do nice.
Well, Black may not “do nice”, but she did help Red through her “crisis”, and along the way, managed to help Red see that adjusting her mindset and perspective could make all the difference.
However, if you’re currently in a difficult situation (or just curious about how Black guided Red), knowing what’s coming next year doesn’t help you now. So, we hope the following posts might help make things a little better.
- Red’s Crisis ... Black’s Advice
- My husband and I always argue about money. Any advice?
- Expect Reality, Not Perfection
- Come Hell Or High Water … Or Both
- Have You Ever Wanted A Second Chance? Or A “Do Over”?
So, curious how Red & Black started? Well, on the surface, it would seem our journey started with the launch of the book I co-authored with my sister, "What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!" But we all know that what leads up to the "start" of a journey can be just as important, and sometimes even more important. It's like a vacation, the actual vacation falls somewhere in the middle — after the planning and packing and before the post-vacation "recovery" phases that always seem to include lots of laundry.
But I digress (warning, I do that a lot). The real beginning of the journey started on a rainy Friday in January 2004.
(The year's important as the economy was strong, and also because it was before we were all constantly accessible via smartphones.) I was preparing dinner, while my two young daughters, Natasha, who was 5 years old at the time, and Sawyer, who was 1-1/2 years old, were playing in the family room section of the kitchen.
I didn't think about it at the time (that happened several hours later and for a long time after that), but I would have described my life as happy and secure. A stay-at-home mom with two beautiful, healthy daughters. A marriage to a husband who was a good father and a good provider. He had a great job with a major company, which led to us living around the world, and he had dedicated his life to it for almost 25 years.
But at 5:00 p.m. that Friday, my life was changed in an instant … when he came home and told me, totally unexpectedly, he had been fired. Forget about long-term plans and dreams for the future. How were we going to get through today and tomorrow and next week?
Even today, I can remember how I felt as if it was yesterday. I was terrified. I was devastated. Emotionally, I was a wreck. I could've killed my husband for doing this to the family. Yet I felt incredibly sad for him. His entire career had been dedicated to the company, and he didn't deserve this. I was ashamed. Yet, I had to be strong and put on a brave face for him and our daughters.
And what was I going to tell people? I'd eventually figure that out, but first, I had to tell my sister — the one person who knows everything about my life and who I talk to almost every day. I thought I was a strong person and well-educated, but I wasn't sure I had the skills to handle this. So, I did what I thought best … I sent her an email saying I needed to talk to her as soon as possible. That something serious had happened to Nick. (Obviously, I was in shock because, as someone who likes to blah-blah-blah, I neglected to provide any details).
And then, I logged off my computer … never realizing that my journey had just begun.
| You've mentioned going to Make-A-Wish events where Wish kids learn they're about to go to Disney World in Orlando. So, I'm curious, do you wear your Minnie Mouse ears or oversized Mickey Mouse hands? |
| They are called “Wish Reveals.” And, yes, to the ears. But, the hands are a bit much since they’re always distracting. |
| No kidding! I’ll never forget you wearing them for “Dress as your favorite character day” when we were teaching at KIPP Houston High School. It was one of the funniest Red & Black classes. Ever. |
| The funny thing is that other than wearing the ears and oversized hands, everything else was impromptu. |
| Perhaps, but I also remember you wore a short black leather skirt and your usual Christian Louboutin black heels with red soles, except this time they were boots. Which, I might add, are the perfect Minnie Mouse colors. |
| Well, there was no way I would wear a red polka dot dress. |
| Which you proceeded to explain to the students is also how Minnie feels. That she only wears it “at work” because she’s paid to. After all, she’s a business tycoon, and prefers designer clothing to tacky dresses. Not to mention, outside of work, she’d never wear the same exact outfit every day. |
| Yes, and your point is? |
| That alone was funny enough, but explaining it while “in character” and gesturing with those oversized white hands just made every word hilarious. |
| I did not even need to do a squeaky Minnie Mouse voice. |
| All I know is that if someone had told me when we were kids and visiting Disney World shortly after they opened, that my big sister would one day entertain high school seniors with a business lesson about Minnie while “in costume”, I’d have said they were crazy. |
| I cannot believe that was 50 years ago. Did you know that Mickey and Minnie were born on the same day and are almost 100 years old? Animation is the ultimate fountain of youth. |
| Is that why you like to use our animated creatures, rather than us, as often as possible?! But if they’re ageless, what determines their birthday? |
| November 18, 1928, was the day “Steamboat Willy,” the animated short film that made Mickey (and his girlfriend, Minnie) famous, was released. |
| Even though they were never my favorite cartoon characters, I still remember the first time I saw that film. It was somewhere on Main Street, USA at Disney World, and it was in black and white. I’ve never forgotten it. |
| I am fascinated by how one animated short became an entertainment empire. And, to think that Mickey was a mouse because Walt Disney signed over the rights to his first creation, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. |
| Is that why, when Red & Black was first created, you refused to give over the rights to anything and everything that we created? I always assumed it was because you were a control freak. |
| I admit I am a control freak, but would like to think it is selective. For example, controlling the Red & Black brand so that it represents what we stand for and believe. When you say “Disney,” it conjures up an image of being wholesome and family-appropriate. And, Mickey and Minnie are an integral part of that. It is the power of a brand and has made Disney the brand it is today. |
| Yes, and I remember you telling that to the students, even going so far as to explain the value of the brand as an intangible asset. It was probably the funniest explanation of the concept anyone’s ever heard, but that’s because you did it while wearing those oversized white mouse gloves. |
| Who knew that Minnie could make learning so much fun? |
| So, what do you think Mickey would’ve thought of that? Especially as he’s used to getting top billing. |
| I know that Mickey may get most of the attention, and even his own day, but never underestimate the power of Minnie … |
At one point, we were going to call this section "Retro" because initially it only contained videos created by a high school senior (Thanks, Aurelio) back when we keynoted at YES Prep High School in 2012. And, at the risk of sounding arrogant — we’re still amazed that his videos have been viewed over 800,000 times — and have stood the test of time.
Plus, we were hoping we could use our animated “creatures” instead of appearing live, but then how would you know we were real people? So, we started recording our weekly team Zoom meetings, and our social media guru has taken segments and turned them into short videos (and suggested, on more than one occasion, that we should do a podcast).
FROM INSIDE THE PRISON WALLS
We never expected to go to prison (technically, it was our bestselling book, but we did visit a few of the units), and the Texas Department of Criminal Justice allowed us to send a film crew in to interview the men and the chaplain who piloted the first of many Red & Black Personal Finance & Life 101 programs. Be prepared to hear powerful voices and unexpected messages that will stop you in your tracks. And begs the question, “Why are these things not taught in school?”
WANT MORE VIDEOS?
We’ll start loading them on our YouTube channel, and you’ll be able to click VIDEOS for an assortment of short videos and social media posts. And, of course, they’ll be scattered throughout this site based on subject matter, while some will be “sneak previewed” in our weekly newsletter, so …
Register for our newsletter on the “sticky bar” at the bottom of the page.
P.S. – If there’s a topic you want us to talk about, please email us at Banter@RedandBlack.email.
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