Words & Banter

Life Happens … **IT HAPPENS

Life rarely goes as planned. Sometimes, unplanned events only cause minor adjustments. But sometimes, they can put you in “crisis mode” and might require major transformations. Like the rainy Friday when Red’s husband came home and told her, totally unexpected, that he had been fired. In a split second, her life went from fairy tale to nightmare.

So, whether you freak out (Red’s default setting) or are feeling overwhelmed and uncertain where to start, when we relaunch this site in the New Year, there will be a section called **IT HAPPENS. Filled with tips and tools (and, of course, food for thought), we hope it will help you survive and thrive during even the most stressful life events.

Because we’ve experienced them, we know that a “crisis” can come in many different forms (financial, work, relationship, health, natural disaster, the list goes on), and what starts as one issue often impacts many aspects of your life. But, as Black recently explained to Red,

Every situation is different, but you can approach them in a similar way, although I did not tell you that at the time. I did not even let you know we were going through the steps one-by-one because, in your case, I knew we first had to deal with the emotional aspects. And, when I told you I thought your “crisis” would be the best thing that ever happened to you, you thought I was being nice. Even though I do not do nice.

Well, Black may not “do nice”, but she did help Red through her “crisis”, and along the way, managed to help Red see that adjusting her mindset and perspective could make all the difference.

However, if you’re currently in a difficult situation (or just curious about how Black guided Red), knowing what’s coming next year doesn’t help you now. So, we hope the following posts might help make things a little better.

P.S. – In case you missed it, here’s a link to the description of THE DAILY HELP, which includes helpful hints you can use now.
crisis

Dummy List & Tools 5

Over the years (and much to our surprise), we’ve found that many of the ideas and approaches Black shared with Red to help her deal with an assortment of topics are resonating with people of all ages. (Red will be the first to tell you that Black sees things differently than most people … while Black just sees herself as extremely pragmatic.) It may be because many are what Red describes as "instantly actionable" items or “duh” moments. Others may simply get you to stop and think. But that, too, is a good thing. So, we created this LEARNING FOR LIFE section.

LOTS OF LISTS

Red will be the first to admit that she’s learned that lists for the sake of having lists is not productive. But over the years, we’ve been told our lists are often valuable checklists. Some were ones Black created for Red when she was going through her “crisis” (Red’s word, not Black’s), while others were created when we were teaching at KIPP Houston High School. But over the years, we’ve developed ones in response to conversations we’ve had with people, although Black may come up with lists just to get you thinking.

CONVERSATION STARTERS

People told us they’re using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others — family, friends, at work, and even in classrooms — so Black created CONVERSATION STARTERS. Each provides our perspectives but then lists some “leading questions” to get the conversation started.

We all have those days when we feel life is out of control, so we’ll continue to provide you with information and tools that we hope you’ll not only enjoy and find useful, but also want to share.

Technically, they’re weekly newsletters, but readers have told us they get them thinking — get them talking — get them taking action, so sign up on the "sticky bar" at the bottom of the page.

overview of learning for life
Learning For Life

One Person’s Problem … Is Another’s Challenge?!

Design by Sawyer Pennington

Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking.


red head red head assets.rebelmouse.io

I suspect I’m not alone when I say I have a problem with problems. I know I can’t make them go away, but they often seem overwhelming, especially if they’re going to take a lot of time and effort to resolve. And if they’re a “serious” problem, my natural tendency is to “freak out”, which makes matters even worse because then I don’t even know where to start. Or even if I’m capable of dealing with it.

Being a warm and fuzzy person (not to mention I avoid conflict at all costs) means my emotions drive my reactions and approach, which (as Black likes to point out) makes the problem even more, well, problematic.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

When we talk about problems, it is usually about something that is difficult to deal with or understand. It is something that stands in our way, hinders us from achieving a particular goal, or adds to an already overburdened to-do list. And, problems cause stress. No wonder problems create a negative attitude or outlook.

But, what if you took that same situation and looked at it as something that needs to be overcome? Recognizing that it may take a significant amount of time and effort, but in the end, you will feel a sense of accomplishment. Would that change your approach? And, what if you break it into smaller pieces and create interim milestones?

Being pragmatic (and competitive), challenges are an opportunity to accomplish or prove something.

THE CONVERSATION STARTERS

  • Why do you think Red and Black have such different attitudes toward problems/challenges?
  • Think of a problem. Can you turn it into a challenge? Will that help you tackle/resolve it?
  • Define “mindset” and “perspective.” How important are they to this conversation? Why?
mindset & perspective
Words & Banter

It Was A Rainy Friday

Photo by Nathan DeFiesta on Unsplash

So, curious how Red & Black started? Well, on the surface, it would seem our journey started with the launch of the book I co-authored with my sister, "What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!" But we all know that what leads up to the "start" of a journey can be just as important, and sometimes even more important. It's like a vacation, the actual vacation falls somewhere in the middle — after the planning and packing and before the post-vacation "recovery" phases that always seem to include lots of laundry.

But I digress (warning, I do that a lot). The real beginning of the journey started on a rainy Friday in January 2004.

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red's crisis