| Curiosity question: Since Sawyer is 17, I know that she is too old to be a camper at Heart O' the Hills this summer, but is she planning to be a Heart-Lite? |
| Where have the years gone?! It seems like only yesterday that we had to convince them to let her attend when she was "almost six" and now she's old enough to be an assistant counselor. |
| True, but that does not answer my question. |
| She submitted the application and a phone interview has been scheduled. But what prompted your question? |
| I received an email from them describing their new leadership team, including some of this summer's counselors, and I thought about the great resume value for those individuals. |
| That's not why Sawyer's doing it. She just loves camp – the activities and the friends she's made, especially the "little ones" that she got to be "big sister" to. From the very beginning, she's always talked about hoping to be a counselor one day. |
| I have always been impressed by her ability – and passion – to teach and to mentor, whether at camp, at volleyball, or with the Special Olympics team. And, even though I only attend a few volleyball games each year, her leadership skills are very obvious. No wonder she has been named team captain the last two years. |
| Funny you say that, as other parents have commented to me about that, too. I know that as her mom I'm biased, but I'm so proud of her this year. Not only is she "playing up" and on the team for 18-year-olds and developing her technical skills, but she's really excelling at strategic thinking and team-building. |
| From what you have told me, she is extremely dependable and her teammates trust and rely on her. That is critical. As are the ability to communicate and resolve conflict. |
| She seems to have all those traits, although I can't take any credit for them. She must have been born that way. Not to mention, she didn't inherit her athletic skills from me, either. |
| I do not have the time for a nature versus nurture conversation, but hard work and focused efforts can go a long way. |
| Maybe in terms of athletics, but I think being a leader is something you're naturally born to be or not. |
| I disagree. I think it is easier to learn to be a good leader than to be a good athlete. |
| Then explain why I was more of a natural at golf than you, but you ended up a better golfer. |
| Because I needed it to advance my career. So, I took lessons and worked at it. Plus, I am much more competitive than you. |
| Now there's an understatement. But you're definitely a natural leader. |
| I have to disagree again. After business school, I did well in positions where I worked independently. I could analyze any situation, spit out a bunch of ideas and suggestions, and get them implemented. But, then I wanted to move to the next assignment. Unfortunately, rather than using me as in-house consultant, I was promoted into management. |
| Wasn't that a good thing? |
| Except that I was totally unprepared. |
| So, what did you do? |
| I looked around the company and found senior management that I admired and respected. Then, I emulated their style and approach. |
| Are you saying that you pretended to be someone you weren't? |
| Have you never heard the adage, "Fake it until you make it?" There is actually science supporting the concept, but the interesting part is that, along the way, I learned the difference between management and leadership. |
| There's a difference? |
| Managing is telling people what to do, how to do it, and then expecting them to do it. Leading is showing by example. Would you rather follow someone or "obey" them? I witnessed that the true leaders were open to ideas, they were patient and empathetic, and they provided timely communication, effective feedback, and positive reinforcement. All powerful traits that can be learned. |
| Well, I have to tell you, based on your description, most of the volleyball coaches I've seen over the years have been managers, not leaders. |
| I would be interested to know if that is a function of the level of the team. Is there a difference in coaching style when you get to the best nationally ranked club teams? What about at the collegiate level? |
| Good questions. I'd guess having better players helps, too. |
| Yes, but even with "better" employees, just demanding them to "do better" will not get the same result as inspiring them to do so. Funny thing is that I was just trying to do my job better, but by helping them do their jobs better, we all benefited. |
| Well, it sounds like Sawyer's leadership skills will one day be invaluable in the workplace. But I'd love to know where she learned them. |
| Probably from you. |
| Seriously? I find it very hard to believe that you think of me as a leader. |
| Do you demand things of the girls? Or, do you ask and then take the time to explain why? Do you follow through on the expectations and rules you have set? Do you take responsibility for your actions and expect them to do the same? Do you provide them with positive feedback or only just find fault? Even when you think you are right, are you willing to listen not only to their perspective, but also their ideas and suggestions? Are you willing to admit when you are wrong? Shall I continue? |
| No! You made your point. I guess I just see these as good mom skills, not leadership traits. |
| But, it is not an either-or situation. Those same traits can be used to be successful at home, at work, even as a volunteer. Think about the parents who are part of the PTA or who are little league coaches. Leadership skills are transferable. And, definitely can be learned, and taught. |
| Wow, I never realized there are so many similarities between leadership and parenting. But I can see where they're each both challenging, yet highly rewarding. |
| Agree, but I would venture to guess that parenting is much more difficult. |
| Now, that I was never expecting. |
| Whatever. |
When we first ran the post below, Red had never heard of “Dry January” (or “Damp January"), so Black wasn't surprised that she hadn't heard of a new phenomenon (especially with younger people) called "Dry Dating" (aka "Sober Dating"). The idea is to go on dates and see if there's chemistry when both people are fully themselves — no “liquid courage” allowed. And January’s the perfect month to test-drive it ...
| I keep getting emails about where to go for mocktails. I know alcohol-free cocktails, like Virgin Margaritas, have been around for a while, but I’d never heard that term before. Do you think it has to do with New Year’s resolutions? |
| It can if any of your resolutions are to loseweight, save money, sleep better. Or, drink less. Psychologically, January is the month when we “reset”, so a UK-based organization, Alcohol Change UK, started DryJanuary, where you abstain from drinking alcohol. |
| Perfect timing since many people shop, eat, and drink more than usual over the holidays. |
| I know you used to drink a glass of ColdDuck on New Year’s Eve, a tradition going back to our childhood, but that hardly counts as drinking. But, I have always wondered why you rarely drink, but never asked. |
red headassets.rebelmouse.io
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io | That may be the only thing you haven’t asked me. It isn’t for any moral or health reasons; it’s because, even many decades later, I still have vivid memories of overdoing it at a fraternity dance at college. Although lately, I’ve been drinking more than normal. |
| For you, that means more than one drink … a year. |
| Very funny, but pretty much true. However, after visiting Tennessee Hills Distillery in the fall, I did develop a taste for their flavored rum. So, between the ones I brought home and the bottles of Moscato that Natasha had delivered to me by Drizly as a surprise holiday gift, I’ve had more to drink this holiday season than ever before. |
| Well, I drank more this year, too. But, that is because, during COVID, I went over a year without a drink. For years, I used to go out to dinner several times a week and would always have a drink or two, but now do not go out as often. Combine that with a lack of dating, and myalcohol consumption is almost non-existent. |
| But your condo has a pantry that you converted into a beautiful bar with all those liquor bottles on display. And you’ve collected wine for years. |
| Yes, it looks enticing, but I do not drink alone. Never have. But, if I did, I would probably need to hide the liquor, or put yellow “caution tape” in front of the bar during Dry January. |
| That’s funny, but do you really think that people can go cold turkey for an entire month? That seems like a long time if you’re used to drinking on a regular basis. |
| Yes. Besides the fact many bars are taking advantage of Dry January to offer customers something new and different versus just alcohol-free versions of traditional cocktails, the demand for nonalcoholic beverages continues to increase as more people prioritize healthier lifestyles. Not to mention, many people now feel less social pressure to drink. |
| Please don’t start quoting statistics and studies! But don’t you think, come February, everyone will just go back to their “normal” habits? |
| Since you do not want me to mention any of the science, or the fact people are already drinking less, I will come at it another way. If once you start Dry January, you experience the health benefits, including more energy, why would you go back to your old habits? |
| Because it’s a habit? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. But good points, especially as we all know drinking can lead to health problems. Not to mention the risks of driving under the influence of alcohol. But I’d think there’s still some peer pressure to drink socially. |
| As more people are trying Dry January, or at least are aware of it, the more acceptable it becomes. And, the easier it is to find others to support you. Although sometimes you may need to avoid those people who do not. |
| Well, I’ve seen you drink this month. And you can’t blame it on me! What’s your excuse? |
| Dry January is not about having a perfect score. It is about reevaluating your relationship with alcohol. And, taking a night off does not mean the end of the effort. It just means it may be a Damp January. |
They may not be the most meaningful holidays, but they may be some of the most fun, so we’re rerunning this post. Of course, Red thinks popcorn is nothing to be taken lightly, since it gives her such happiness. But even Black has favorites (scroll to the bottom). What would be yours?
| It’s January, and everyone’s probably tired of reading about New Year’s resolutions. |
| Not me. Since I never make them, I never feel the need to read about them. |
| Of course, you don’t. So, what should we write about? |
| How about that we celebrate some of our favorite things in January? |
So many “National Days” in January are fun (we’ve written about them over the years) and remind us of some of our favorite things. (Can you pick which are Red’s favorite holidays and which are Black’s?) And whether or not you make resolutions, it’s always important to have a sense of humor and enjoy the simpler things in life …
- NATIONAL CLEAN YOUR DESK DAY: Resolutions Aside … A Clean Desk? Is That Even Possible???
- NATIONAL BAGEL DAY: Not A Trick Question ... Who Doesn’t Love Bagels?
- NATIONAL POPCORN DAY: Do People Really “Celebrate” Popcorn? Red Does!
- NATIONAL HUGGING DAY: Think Before … Hugging?!
- NATIONAL BACKWARD DAY: Celebrating Having Fun … And Success … By Being Backward?
Answer: Red’s favorites are Bagels, Popcorn, and Hugging. Black’s are Clean Desk, Bagels, and Backward.
Staying Real … On Social Media?