People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".
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Mom's almost 94 years old,
so I appreciate that she travels down "memory lane" and reminisces. But what I don't appreciate, or understand,
is why she insists on focusing on negative memories and
wishing things were different. What makes it worse is how she remembers
things, or let's just say her "versions" of what happened, which makes me
wonder if we're even talking about the same event.
As you know, I love history, and there's so much we can learn from the past , including how to try to avoid repeating mistakes so you can make "today" better. That applies to people, too. But, with her, I feel like it's only "lip service" when she's said that she wanted to clear the air about past events in the hope we could improve things going forward. Because whenever I've tried to "sort through" things, it seems all she wants to do is prove how she's right and I'm wrong. Then and now. |
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You bring up two different
but intertwined issues.
First, why people remember things differently. We are a story-telling society, so think about our memories … are they not just stories from the past? Influenced by how we reacted to the "facts" and our memories of the "facts"? If you and I experience the same event, I bet you will remember how you felt, whereas I will have a more pragmatic memory. Second, what is the objective of looking back? Mom has always dwelled in the past, but her "stories" always defend her actions rather than look at what she might have been able to do differently. Or, even acknowledge how she may have contributed to the situation. Stating the objective as "learning from mistakes" only works when that is what you are willing to do. Want an extreme, and very serious, example? Look at January 6. Some people want to examine exactly what happened and why to prevent it from happening again, while others are using it for political purposes. And many (most?) are not even being honest about their motives. |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- Do you know people who seem to prefer to dwell in the past? Why do you think they do?
- Why do you think some people are more interested in "defending the past" than "learning from the past"?
- Do you think recognizing that different people remember things differently makes addressing issues easier or more difficult? Why?
People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".
Not only is Christmas less than a week away, but so is Chanukah (the first night is on Christmas Day). And although we wrote this Conversation Starter years ago, we seem to have this same conversation every year.
| I can't believe how quickly the holidays are flying by. On one hand, all I want to do is enjoy them as I love this time of year. But I can't because there always seems so much to do. And I'm afraid that if I don't do everything on my holiday "to-do" list, I'll disappoint people, including me. You don't have this problem as you don't have kids and you live alone, plus others aren't looking to you to make the holidays festive and memorable. |
| You seem to start with your "to-do" list, whereas I think about the significance of the holiday and what will make it meaningful and memorable. Yes, it is a more pragmatic approach, but it makes the planning so much easier. You know that I dislike the over-commercialization of holidays, but it does provide a reminder that it is important to let others know how much you appreciate them. |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- What's most important to you during the holidays? Why?
- Describe your "perfect" (yet realistic) holiday celebration. What it would take to make it come true?
- If you celebrate with others, have you ever discussed what's important to them?
P.S. – Since this is being posted in the midst of
the December holiday season (what Red refers to as the "silly season"), you
might be interested in these recent posts:
People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".
Health literacy is more than just reading a prescription label or following a doctor’s instructions; it’s understanding our health – from basic information to making choices that support our well-being. And October is Health Literacy Month, although it may take more than a month to figure it out.
But if it makes you feel any better – Red found the term “health literacy” both intimidating and boring, while Black thought it was off-putting …
| As a mom, over the years, I've had to become familiar with various
children's health issues and basic
healthcare (and don't get me started on health insurance). But whenever it was something more than the common
cold or flu, a stomach ache, or the usual scrapes and bruises, I felt like I
was back in school. And between the
terminology and trying to understand how the body works, I often felt like I
needed a nursing degree. Not to mention,
there's so much information on the internet, it can be overwhelming as well as confusing
and sometimes scary.
Over the years, I've also had to deal with my aging parent's more serious health issues, and I've lost count of the pages of notes I've taken and questions I've asked. Or the conversations discussing risks vs. benefits that I've had with medical professionals and my sister. (I'm glad Black finds statistics "fun" and can look at them unemotionally because they give me a headache.) |
| Until recently, I had never heard the term "health literacy," and when I
first did, I initially thought about general literacy skills such as the
ability to read and understand numbers. Skills that are essential if you are sick and need health information
and services, but also impact health decisions that should be simple, like filling
out forms, taking over-the-counter drugs (aspirin, cold and flu remedies, etc.),
and learning about the things we should (or should not) do to live a healthier life
and reduce the chances of serious illness.
But then, I thought about how anytime I had to deal with a health issue, especially ones that could potentially be serious, it was a tedious, complicated, and technical challenge. And, at the risk of sounding arrogant, I like to consider myself well-read, pragmatic, and comfortable with numbers and research documents. In other words, although it impacts some people more than others, the issue of "health literacy" affects us all. (And, that does not even address what it does to the cost of healthcare.) |
red head
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Black
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THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- Before now, have you ever thought about "health literacy"? How would you describe it? What impact does it have on your life? How can it impact your ability to be successful in the workplace?
- Why do health and healthcare topics seem so daunting?
- Does health literacy only impact you when you are facing health issues? Explain your answer.
- Have you ever had a medical situation or condition that required you to learn more about it? Where did you seek information? Did you have any problems learning about it? Explain your answers.