Learning For Life

A Bad Past Or A Better Future? Your Choice.

People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


Mom's almost 94 years old, so I appreciate that she travels down "memory lane" and reminisces. But what I don't appreciate, or understand, is why she insists on focusing on negative memories and wishing things were different. What makes it worse is how she remembers things, or let's just say her "versions" of what happened, which makes me wonder if we're even talking about the same event.

As you know, I love history, and there's so much we can learn from the past , including how to try to avoid repeating mistakes so you can make "today" better. That applies to people, too. But, with her, I feel like it's only "lip service" when she's said that she wanted to clear the air about past events in the hope we could improve things going forward. Because whenever I've tried to "sort through" things, it seems all she wants to do is prove how she's right and I'm wrong. Then and now.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


You bring up two different but intertwined issues.

First, why people remember things differently. We are a story-telling society, so think about our memories … are they not just stories from the past? Influenced by how we reacted to the "facts" and our memories of the "facts"? If you and I experience the same event, I bet you will remember how you felt, whereas I will have a more pragmatic memory.

Second, what is the objective of looking back? Mom has always dwelled in the past, but her "stories" always defend her actions rather than look at what she might have been able to do differently. Or, even acknowledge how she may have contributed to the situation. Stating the objective as "learning from mistakes" only works when that is what you are willing to do.

Want an extreme, and very serious, example? Look at January 6. Some people want to examine exactly what happened and why to prevent it from happening again, while others are using it for political purposes. And many (most?) are not even being honest about their motives.

THE CONVERSATION STARTERS

  • Do you know people who seem to prefer to dwell in the past? Why do you think they do?
  • Why do you think some people are more interested in "defending the past" than "learning from the past"?
  • Do you think recognizing that different people remember things differently makes addressing issues easier or more difficult? Why?

People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".

Not only is Christmas less than a week away, but so is Chanukah (the first night is on Christmas Day). And although we wrote this Conversation Starter years ago, we seem to have this same conversation every year.


Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io


I can't believe how quickly the holidays are flying by. On one hand, all I want to do is enjoy them as I love this time of year. But I can't because there always seems so much to do. And I'm afraid that if I don't do everything on my holiday "to-do" list, I'll disappoint people, including me. You don't have this problem as you don't have kids and you live alone, plus others aren't looking to you to make the holidays festive and memorable.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


You seem to start with your "to-do" list, whereas I think about the significance of the holiday and what will make it meaningful and memorable. Yes, it is a more pragmatic approach, but it makes the planning so much easier. You know that I dislike the over-commercialization of holidays, but it does provide a reminder that it is important to let others know how much you appreciate them.

THE CONVERSATION STARTERS

  • What's most important to you during the holidays? Why?
  • Describe your "perfect" (yet realistic) holiday celebration. What it would take to make it come true?
  • If you celebrate with others, have you ever discussed what's important to them?

P.S. – Since this is being posted in the midst of the December holiday season (what Red refers to as the "silly season"), you might be interested in these recent posts:

    Without fail, every year, I feel overwhelmed by the holidays, and without fail, Black reminds me that I know what to do or, in some cases, what not to do. And then she suggests (sarcastically, I might add) I reread the very simple (but invaluable) list I wrote in 2020. Maybe next year, I’ll put “read my holiday survival checklist” on one of my many lists of things to do

    It's official! The holiday "silly season" (as I call it) is now underway and before I know it, it will be New Year's Day and I'll be looking back and asking, "Where did December go?!" This year's holiday goals …

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    People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".

    Health literacy is more than just reading a prescription label or following a doctor’s instructions; it’s understanding our health – from basic information to making choices that support our well-being. And October is Health Literacy Month, although it may take more than a month to figure it out.

    But if it makes you feel any better – Red found the term “health literacy” both intimidating and boring, while Black thought it was off-putting …



    red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

    As a mom, over the years, I've had to become familiar with various children's health issues and basic healthcare (and don't get me started on health insurance). But whenever it was something more than the common cold or flu, a stomach ache, or the usual scrapes and bruises, I felt like I was back in school. And between the terminology and trying to understand how the body works, I often felt like I needed a nursing degree. Not to mention, there's so much information on the internet, it can be overwhelming as well as confusing and sometimes scary.

    Over the years, I've also had to deal with my aging parent's more serious health issues, and I've lost count of the pages of notes I've taken and questions I've asked. Or the conversations discussing risks vs. benefits that I've had with medical professionals and my sister. (I'm glad Black finds statistics "fun" and can look at them unemotionally because they give me a headache.)


    Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

    Until recently, I had never heard the term "health literacy," and when I first did, I initially thought about general literacy skills such as the ability to read and understand numbers. Skills that are essential if you are sick and need health information and services, but also impact health decisions that should be simple, like filling out forms, taking over-the-counter drugs (aspirin, cold and flu remedies, etc.), and learning about the things we should (or should not) do to live a healthier life and reduce the chances of serious illness.

    But then, I thought about how anytime I had to deal with a health issue, especially ones that could potentially be serious, it was a tedious, complicated, and technical challenge. And, at the risk of sounding arrogant, I like to consider myself well-read, pragmatic, and comfortable with numbers and research documents. In other words, although it impacts some people more than others, the issue of "health literacy" affects us all. (And, that does not even address what it does to the cost of healthcare.)

    THE CONVERSATION STARTERS

    • Before now, have you ever thought about "health literacy"? How would you describe it? What impact does it have on your life? How can it impact your ability to be successful in the workplace?
    • Why do health and healthcare topics seem so daunting?
    • Does health literacy only impact you when you are facing health issues? Explain your answer.
    • Have you ever had a medical situation or condition that required you to learn more about it? Where did you seek information? Did you have any problems learning about it? Explain your answers.
    P.S. – You might be interested in our Conversation Starters for Financial Literacy and Digital Literacy.