| Well, it’s our first column of the year. A new beginning. Any “new” ideas for topics? Something other than New Year’s resolutions. |
| Is there a reason you do not want to talk about resolutions? |
| Obviously, yours was not to ask fewer questions. |
| That will never happen, but you are avoiding the question. Why? |
| Because every year, I have a long list of things I want to do, and I start strong, but within a few months, I fall back into old habits. Sometimes it only takes weeks. It’s frustrating and disappointing. |
| Next question. What is the opposite of “old?" |
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Black
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Red
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| I want to say, “New,” but this is clearly one of your trick questions. |
| ”New” would technically be correct … but, so is “current.” Most people think of resolutions as total overhauls, which has never made sense to me. Instead of major change, which is rarely a realistic goal, why not focus on improving and doing things better? |
| Now that’s an interesting thought, especially as Sawyer said to me, mere minutes into the new year, that one of her resolutions was to build on last year’s goals at the gym. So, for me, instead of using that dreaded word “diet,” I could just focus on eating better. |
| “Dieting” is focused on weight loss, but eating better is about healthy choices. It may sound like a nuance, but it is a different mindset. |
| All I know is phrasing it that way already takes the pressure off. And since I love fruit and salads, it’d be easier to think about using them as substitutes vs. trying to give up the “bad stuff”. |
| Exactly. Keep what you are doing that is good and get rid of – or at least reduce – what is not so good. |
| I find it interesting that you said “not so good” instead of “bad.” I
like that. It puts the focus on the good. Which is a good
idea! Pun intended. |
| And, that applies to everything … not just eating habits. |
| Well, it’s too bad that everyone doesn’t focus on the good. There’s so much negativity everywhere. You turn on the news, and that’s all you hear. You pick up the newspaper, and that’s all you see. And to make matters worse, I often feel like the media’s stirring the pot. |
| Good thing you are not on social media. It is even worse there. |
| I’d like to think people want good news, but I feel like you have to
search for those stories. For example, I get CNN headlines on my phone,
and there’s usually one or two “feel good” stories, but they’re typically buried
at the bottom. |
| Without boring you with studies and statistics, although people say they prefer stories with a “positive” message, they are drawn to “negative” stories. And, since the news media is big business, it gives audiences what they want. Maybe you should change your newsfeed to Axios, as I find its stories are not only factual, but have a human element as they explain “why” the information is important. Regardless, nothing requires you to keep up with all the news. |
| Usually it’s just background noise while I’m doing other things. But when Mom passed in mid-December, I stopped watching the news and have barely looked at the headlines on my phone. It started with me feeling like I didn’t need to hear anything negative going on in the world while I was dealing with my grief. And then I decided I didn’t miss all the negative news and preferred to focus on positive things. |
| Imagine if everyone took that same approach. Focusing on positive things, not negative. The difference it could make – not only to us individually but to society as a whole. |
| Do you think, in today’s world where people are so quick to criticize and find the negative, that’s even possible? |
| You tell me. After “divorcing” yourself from the news, have you noticed any change in your behavior toward others? |
| Yes, but it also might be because Mom’s passing has made me overly sensitive. However, I’ve found myself having more patience with other people. Places where I sometimes can be impatient – the grocery store, the gas station, etc. |
| You get impatient with people? So, you are not always warm and fuzzy? |
| Very funny. But if you’ll let me
finish ... instead of ignoring people and/or muttering to myself that they
were in my way or moving slowly or whatever, I’ve been giving people more “time”.
I make a point of trying to smile or
making a friendly comment. And almost everyone
has responded in a positive way. |
| Kindness can be contagious. So, maybe you should add that to your list of New Year’s resolutions. As I already said, resolutions do not have to be major overhauls, they are about improving and doing things better. |
| So, what do you plan to do better in the New Year? Work on your sarcasm, perhaps? |
| Actually, I have been told I already do that well. But, I guess there is always room for improvement … |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
The more things change — the more they stay the same. Red will be seeing in the new year with an old movie (and some late-night popcorn), while Black will be fast asleep (or possibly working) as 2025 turns to 2026. So, we smiled when we re-read our New Year’s Eve post from 2022 (see below) …
The memories remain. The only difference? This year, when we wish you Happy New Year, we’ve updated it to … and may 2026 be filled with health and happiness, love and laughter.
| I remember when I was growing up and old enough to stay home alone (long before the movie “Home Alone”) on New Year’s Eve. Our parents may have gone out to celebrate, but I had the perfect evening. Before they left, they’d get me my favorite takeout Chinese food (again, long before the days of food delivery services), and I’d savor the egg drop soup with wontons and a large container of pork fried rice, knowing that I didn’t have to share with anyone. Then, I’d settle in for a night of old movies on TV, only taking a short break to watch the ballcome down in Times Square, before going back to watching movies for hours. (Long after my parents had come home and gone to sleep.) Fast forward more decades than I care to admit, and my favorite way to celebrate New Year’s Eve is pretty much the same. Except now, what would be even more perfect would be to have my daughters home with me. |
| I started to say that Red has always needed to get a life, but the reality is that I understand why she likes a quiet New Year’s Eve and has created her own “special” tradition. Over the years, I would celebrate New Year’s Eve by going out to a “special” dinner with my spouse or significant other (if applicable) and dear friends. The funny thing is the older we get, the earlier we return home. We tell ourselves it is because we do not want to be on the roads with the drunks, but that does not explain why we all admit we usually are asleep well before midnight. |
Whether celebrating by yourself or with others … whether you find yourself feeling extra warm and fuzzy and reminiscing at midnight, like Red, or being pragmatically optimistic, like Black, who will raise a glass and toast her friends as well as the promise and hope that the new year offers us all … we want to wish you,
Happy New Year! And may 2023 be filled with health and happiness, love and laughter.
Tonight is the first night of Chanukah (FYI, there are multiple "correct" spellings), and while Red may be celebrating the Festival of Lights with potato latkes (pancakes), when she lights the menorah to symbolize bringing light into darkness, she’ll be laughing at Black’s car analogy …
| At the risk of Black coming up with another potato analogy, for me, Chanukah's all about potato latkes. The childhood memories of our dad grating pounds and pounds of potatoes to the point where I'm not sure I could see our kitchen table, many decades later, my eldest daughter taste-testing latkes from an assortment of places. (I love to cook, but latkes are a lot of work.) Of course, the lighting of the menorah is also such a special part of the holiday celebration, whether the electric menorah that my parents had where you would "twist" each light bulb as the nights progressed or the more traditional menorah with candles that my daughters and I light each year (and never leave unattended). |
| I never cease to be amazed by the miracle of Chanukah (regardless of whether you spell it Chanukah or Hanukkah, or some other variation) and how the oil that was only supposed to last one day instead lasted for eight days. It is as if your cellphone indicated it is at 12% but lasts eight days. Or, if the gas gauge in your car indicates you have 25 miles left, but you are able to drive 200 miles. Sometimes things happen that defy logic, and that is where faith takes over. And, a belief in something bigger than all of us. |
Blackassets.rebelmouse.ioTomorrow is the start of Chanukah, the Festival of Lights, which celebrates hope and miracles – and who could not use hope and miracles?
Happy Chanukah!
Every year on #GivingTuesday, Red tells Black that she knows how important giving is – whether time or money – but, unlike Black, she doesn’t have a meaningful charity that’s been part of her life for decades. We often “repeat” the conversation below, but this year, Black suggested that Red use #GivingTuesday to think about what charity inspires her or holds special meaning, and then get involved. Making it personal often ends up making it a year-round passion rather than a one-off obligation.
But no matter how you approach charity, beware of potential scammers. And, if in doubt — check them out! (Black likes GuideStar and Charity Navigator.)
| I know today’s Giving Tuesday, but what I always find so amazing is how you treat every day as “Giving Tuesday." |
| What makes you say that? I do not donate to an organization or charity every day. |
| You’re always so literal. I meant that the spirit of “giving to others”, whether donating or providing support in some way, seems to be part of your daily life. |
| I think you are exaggerating. |
| Really? What about your involvement with The Make-A-Wish Foundation? That’s been going on for years. And it didn’t take a “holiday” to get you involved. |
| Actually, it was a golf tournament decades ago. But once you see the difference you can make, even if it is a small donation because they add up, it becomes a way of life. Or, at least, it did for me. |
| I know you’ve quietly done things for other organizations and people, too. Living in the Houston area, we have no shortage of natural disasters, and we’ve seen people’s generosity. But what I like about GivingTuesday is it’s not waiting for a specific event because there are so many worthwhile charities that need our support every day. |
| Agree. And, although I am not always a huge fan of social media, #GivingTuesday – note the hashtag – started in 2012 to harness the power of the internet for hashtag activism and, more specifically, to inspire people and companies to give back. |
| Well, social media or not, I know how important it is to give back and help others. And it’s not always about money. Sometimes they need people to donate their time or expertise. I just wish we didn’t need a tragic event or “special day” as a reminder. |
| So, now that you have been reminded, stop talking to me and do your fair share for #GivingTuesday. Trust me, you will be glad you did. |
Today (Black would probably say “every day”) is the perfect day to give back to others, so check out this great list of ideas and pick one (or more) and become part of #GivingTuesday!