Words & Banter

More Than Just Boxes And Ballots

Red wonders if we can blame it on Bruce Willis or maybe Robert Downey, Jr. Blame them for what? The popularity of action movies over the last decades – ranging from normal people demonstrating almost impossible feats of bravery and skill (yes, she's thinking "Die Hard") to super heroes conquering the day no matter the odds (like Marvel's "The Avengers") – that has greatly influenced our idea of what's a "hero". (Black defers to Red when it comes to movies, unless you want to talk about the business aspects of the industry.)

Until we stop and think about it.


Then our idea of what's a hero changes to who's a hero, and is much different than those in blockbuster movies. Instead of it being larger-than-life figures, it becomes someone who displays courage, someone we admire. In reality, we've always been surrounded by heroes, they're just more noticeable during a crisis. During the pandemic, first responders, front-line healthcare personnel, and grocery-workers have become some of our most vital and appreciated heroes.

But heroes can be everyday people who merely go out of their way for others. Maybe a neighbor who checks in with the elderly couple next door. Or, the person who calls someone they know is lonely. It may not seem "heroic" to you, but it does to the recipient. Quite simply, heroes come in many different forms, whether they make the front page of a newspaper, trend on social media, or are only known by one other person.

Last Wednesday at the siege on the Capitol, as government officials and their staff were quickly moved to safety, we saw many nameless heroes. Most would probably say there were merely doing "their job" but in our opinion that doesn't make them any less courageous. However, there's an image that stood out amongst all the horrific ones – the ceremonial Electoral College ballot boxes that were rescued by quick thinking congressional aides. While some people may wonder why the staff would risk their own safety to save a few wooden boxes and pieces of papers, we see those boxes as symbols of American democracy. So, when we think about those aides, we see courage, patriotism, and a commitment to something that's bigger than themselves. Bigger than all of us. And, to us, that makes them heroes. True American heroes.

Photo by mevans on iStock
Since we first ran the conversation below, autism awareness has become more commonplace, but there’s a big difference between that and acceptance. (Which is why April is now Autism ACCEPTANCE Month.) Not to mention assumptions. Labels aside, don’t we all have something of value to contribute? Think about your different abilities (Black calls them “diff-abilities”), and you may find a new way to look at others, especially those with autism -- with respect, empathy, and a desire to better understand their situations, strengths, and challenges.


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Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye.


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Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call.


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Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities.


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I think you mean DIFF-abilities.


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Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.


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Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings?
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Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Ye Jinghan on Unsplash

We’ve all wanted a “second chance” at some point in our lives. A “do-over” for a mistake we made, a bad decision, or something that didn’t work out well. An opportunity to show (to ourselves and to others) that we learned our lesson.

Now imagine that second chance being life-changing. For many people who’ve found themselves on the wrong side of the law, a second chance might be all they need to turn their lives around. Which is why April was designated Second Chance Month and why we’re rerunning what changed Red’s perspective on second chances …



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I had no idea that April was “Second Chance Month” until you sent me the official proclamation. I find it interesting that in the midst of juggling our usual million and one Red & Black things, your interest in criminal justice, which I know you consider a “passion project”, is as strong as ever, maybe even stronger.


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It is not intentional, sometimes “ passion projects” find you. And, when you least expect it.


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Or where you least expect it! Only you would take a “field trip” to a men’s prison.


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I will not get on my soapbox about how our education system contributes to the criminal justice problem. I will never forget a friend of mine who was formerly incarcerated telling me, “Rehabilitating people makes the assumption they were habilitated in the first place.”


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When you stop and think about that statement, it’s pretty powerful! But I have to smile as once upon a time you, and I, used words like “offenders” and “prisoners” until we learned how our choice of words could be dehumanizing .


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Says the woman who once believed in the idea of “lock ’em up and throw away the key”.
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Image by filipefrazao on iStock

When you think of cancer, do you think that’s something only older people need to worry about?

Well, you’d be wrong because it’s alarming how many people under 50 are getting cancer. (Think Catherine, Princess of Wales.) And while the exact causes remain under investigation, what we do know is that early detection through cancer screenings is crucial.

It should be a priority for all of us (men and women) – and not only during Cancer Prevention Month but year-round.



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I know that cancer isn’t the “death sentence” it used to be when we were growing up, but it’s still a very scary word. Especially if it’s heard “close to home”.


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When we were young, the word was rarely said. And if it was, it was whispered or referred to as the “ c-word.”


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Kind of like when I had my two miscarriages. No one wanted even to acknowledge, let alone talk about, them. Which made it all the more difficult to get through it, although intellectually, I knew it was not uncommon.


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Unfortunately, neither is cancer. It is the second-leading cause of death in the world, surpassed only by heart disease. But, at least, it is no longer a taboo subject.


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Please don’t make this about numbers. It’s about people. Which you should know. I’m sure you remember when Daddy was diagnosed with parotid gland cancer , which luckily was treatable. And I’ve had skin cancer, although I was very fortunate, it was caught early and easily treated.
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