So, almost a year later, I’m happy to report that I’m taking more naps and feeling less guilty (although I still laugh about one of the locations of Black’s infamous power naps). And now I understand how this “guilty pleasure” can be one of the best things you can do, not only for yourself but also for others, as it can leave you rested and recharged. Don’t believe me? Try it.
I'm sitting at my computer but I see our big black labradoodle, Moo (imagine calling for her on the street), curled up for a nap in an armchair. I look at her with love but also with more than a touch of envy. Because as much as the stacks of papers on my desk beckon (or is it taunts) me, a nap's what I really want, and probably need.
The reasons why are unimportant but probably familiar to most people. I stayed up later than I planned, then my sleep was interrupted during the night by Moo, a crazy morning filled with unplanned things that delayed what I'd hoped to have accomplished, which meant I was now working at full speed to "catch up" and I felt exhausted. Not to mention, this morning's caffeine had worn off hours ago.
You may be thinking, "You work from home, just stop what you're doing and take a nap." Well, it sounds like good advice except I'd feel guilty doing that, especially during a workday. A nap just seems selfish. Plus, I'm not sure how I'd explain it to Black, although she doesn't sleep normal hours, and does take power naps.
Anyway, a few days later, my eldest daughter sends both my sister and me a photo of her cat, Porsche (yes, like the car), fast asleep in her bed. And while I was busy typing something warm and fuzzy in reply, I saw that Black had already responded,
Some things never change … like a love of naps.
That made me smile, as it was so true of both Natasha (and all college students?) and her cat, and when I mentioned that to Black later that night, she explained that cats are notorious for sleeping up 16 hours a day because they're saving up their energy (remember they're hunters in the wild). Then she reminded me of how our Grandma Betty used to climb onto our kitchen table (no, I'm not kidding) and would take a catnap for 15 minutes. Then she'd jump up from the table, well-rested and ready to take on the world.
Black laughed that she must have inherited that trait (minus the kitchen table part) because she's taken power naps for as long as she can remember. In fact, she'd often take one in her racecar when waiting to go out on track, but even in her corporate days would close her door and take a 10-15 minute afternoon power nap. (She also couldn't resist sending me a Wall Street Journal, You're Going Back to the Office. What Happens to Your Nap Habit?, wishing that management realized the "benefits" of employee naps.) Anyway, the more we talked, the more I realized that naps can be incredibly beneficial, giving your mind and body time to recharge and recover.
All I know is that thanks to a dog, a cat, an unforgettable memory of my grandma, and basically "permission" from my sister, I think that the next time I need a nap, I might actually try to take one. And whether you call it a catnap or a power nap, I figure If it's good enough for Black, it's good enough for me. Maybe you too? (Although someplace you can close a door might be in order …)
| Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye. | |
| Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call. | |
| Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities. | |
| I think you mean DIFF-abilities. | |
| Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. | |
| Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings? |
| I know that you completely changed my way of thinking, not only about Natasha but about the concept of "disabilities" full stop. It opened my eyes – and my brain – about how just because someone has challenges or limited abilities in some areas, that doesn't mean they don't have different gifts and strengths in other areas. | |
| Exactly. Although autism is a "spectrum condition" meaning it affects people differently and to varying degrees, it is a complex developmental disorder that can affect a person's social skills, and ability to communicate and interact with others. However, autistic people usually possess some extremely valuable traits that are rare in non-autistic people. | |
| Which is why it frustrates me that so many people feel like those with disabilities, excuse me DIFF-abilities, are "lesser" people. When Natasha was diagnosed, she was in her teens and already had a very strong personality (no doubt inherited from you) and, luckily, seemed to have an innate understanding that she was just different, not better, not worse, than others. I guess one of the biggest challenges is to get others to see things with the same mindset. | |
| We are a story-telling society, and there are countless stories of people with DIFF-abilities, including those with autism, that are eye-opening and more powerful than anything we could ever say. | |
| Funny you say that, as I was curious to learn more about autism and found some inspiring quotes (including a wonderful Tom Hanks clip) that not only gave me great insight but made me smile. One of my favorites was how Paul Collins, an author and parent of an autistic child, said, "Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." That's such a great way to describe not only those with autism but any disability. | |
| Well, technically, it will fit, but it requires that the diameter of the circle be larger than the diagonal of the square. Basic geometry. But, I understand Paul Collin's point. | |
| Talk about DIFF-abilities! Couldn't you just agree with me? | |
| The thought never crossed my mind. |
| So, how do you plan to explain how our WORDS & BANTER section is different from BANTER BITES? Although it often takes more than a "bite" of sisterly banter to address topics, especially since we always seem to have very different perspectives. | |
| You just explained it. | |
| Do you think we should mention how, on the surface, it may appear as a hodge-podge? An assortment of topics. Things that don’t fit “nice and neat” in specific categories. |
| Areyou describing WORDS & BANTER? Or, life? |
| I should've known that you'd answer my question with a question. | |
| How long have I been your sister? By now, you should be used to it. | |
| True. Just like you should be used to my blah-blah-blah. | |
| Which explains why we never have a shortage of words … or sisterly banter. | |
| That, and the fact that you always seem to have a different point of view or perspective on any given topic. | |
| We are sisters— not clones. | |
| Well, sometimes I think you’re a Vulcan. Anyway, should we mention that if they want a weekly dose of Red & Black banter and perspective, they should sign up for our newsletter at the bottom of this page? | |
| You just did. |
We love it when Passover, Good Friday, and Easter overlap. Yes, they’re very different celebrations, but they have a lot in common — tradition, history, family, and hope. And the post below is worth repeating, because we wish everyone could remember what we have in common instead of our differences …
| I can't tell you how much I love when Passover and Easter are close together. And this year, the last day of Passover falls on Easter! |
| They usually fall close to one another, and when the girls were young and celebrated everything (which many interfaith families do), it allowed me to be efficient in terms of gift-giving and celebration meals. |
| I'll never forget you adding fluffy Easter bunnies and pastel-colored eggs to a Zabar's basket of Passover goodies. But I wasn't really thinking about that. |
| Let me guess. You want to use this as an opportunity to remind me – once again – that the Comparative Religion class you took decades ago at Wake Forest University was one of the best classes you ever took. |
| Fine, make fun of me. But that class was such an eye-opener. Before it, I thought there were huge differences between the religions. But the reality's very different. We have much in common. |
| Yes, a belief in something bigger than us, in faith, in traditions, in celebrations that go back centuries. |
| Exactly! And while people might celebrate different holidays based on their religion, when those holidays come close together it's a perfect reminder of what's truly important. Our fundamental values are so similar. If everyone could see that, maybe we'd be pulling together more and be torn apart less. |
| It is up to each of us to decide whether we want to focus on our differences or our similarities. |
| At this point, I'd settle for respect, tolerance, and understanding. |
| You left out world peace. Well, given that Passover and Easter both celebrate history … and hope … maybe your request is reasonable after all. |
| In that case, whether our readers are eating the last of the matzo or hunting Easter eggs, I think we should wish them a very happy holiday… one filled with hope, happiness, and peace. |
| You just did. |


