Words & Banter

It’s Not Complicated … It’s Just DOLLARS & SENSE

Money. It’s the first thing Red thought about when her husband came home and, totally unexpectedly, told her he was fired. And what was the first thing she did? She freaked out (Black likes to say that Red finally used her theater degree), assuming the worst about their financial situation. And if that wasn’t bad enough, she was certain she couldn’t “do” personal finance.

She then made a third foolish assumption … that her sister Black, who had an M.B.A. in International Finance, would tell her what to do. Instead, after giving Red a few days to deal with her emotions, Black started to ask her basic questions about their financial situation, and it became obvious Red’s default setting was to “freak out”.


And so Red’s journey (which Black turned into our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!) began with learning the basics of personal finance and, ultimately, she’d realize that Black wasn’t being sarcastic when she said,

When it comes to money, you have two choices: you can let your money control you, or you can control your money.

But first, Red, a straight-A student, had to overcome the unfounded belief that she wasn’t capable of learning about money. She had to find a way to get around the mental roadblocks of being intimidated by financial terminology and concepts, which the very thought of gave her a headache. And then Black simply asked,

Can you add and subtract? If so, you’re qualified to “do” personal finance.

So, whether you’re more like Red (was), feel like you’ve got a good handle on your money but are always looking for tips and tools, or merely are curious about Black’s unusual ways of looking at money (or her sarcastic comments), we think you’ll enjoy the DOLLARS & SENSE section on our new site in the new year.

Until then, and especially since “tis the season for spending”, we want to share some of our favorite money posts:

P.S. – And whether you’re trying to survive the holiday season (this checklist is about more than just money) or looking forward to a fresh start in the New Year (although maybe not the “resolutions” part), stay tuned as later this month we’ll have a post dedicated to THE BIG PICTURE. (FYI, our subscribers get sneak peeks before we post online.)
Photo by mevans on iStock
Since we first ran the conversation below, autism awareness has become more commonplace, but there’s a big difference between that and acceptance. (Which is why April is now Autism ACCEPTANCE Month.) Not to mention assumptions. Labels aside, don’t we all have something of value to contribute? Think about your different abilities (Black calls them “diff-abilities”), and you may find a new way to look at others, especially those with autism -- with respect, empathy, and a desire to better understand their situations, strengths, and challenges.


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Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye.


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Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call.


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Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities.


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I think you mean DIFF-abilities.


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Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.


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Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings?
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Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Ye Jinghan on Unsplash

We’ve all wanted a “second chance” at some point in our lives. A “do-over” for a mistake we made, a bad decision, or something that didn’t work out well. An opportunity to show (to ourselves and to others) that we learned our lesson.

Now imagine that second chance being life-changing. For many people who’ve found themselves on the wrong side of the law, a second chance might be all they need to turn their lives around. Which is why April was designated Second Chance Month and why we’re rerunning what changed Red’s perspective on second chances …



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I had no idea that April was “Second Chance Month” until you sent me the official proclamation. I find it interesting that in the midst of juggling our usual million and one Red & Black things, your interest in criminal justice, which I know you consider a “passion project”, is as strong as ever, maybe even stronger.


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It is not intentional, sometimes “ passion projects” find you. And, when you least expect it.


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Or where you least expect it! Only you would take a “field trip” to a men’s prison.


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I will not get on my soapbox about how our education system contributes to the criminal justice problem. I will never forget a friend of mine who was formerly incarcerated telling me, “Rehabilitating people makes the assumption they were habilitated in the first place.”


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

When you stop and think about that statement, it’s pretty powerful! But I have to smile as once upon a time you, and I, used words like “offenders” and “prisoners” until we learned how our choice of words could be dehumanizing .


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Says the woman who once believed in the idea of “lock ’em up and throw away the key”.
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March is Women’s History Month, so what better time to reflect on how women can inspire other women to do amazing things? We’re rerunning a Q&A from a few years ago because celebrating women’s accomplishments is worth repeating and rereading … And it shouldn’t happen only in March!

P. S. – Betty White made this list, but how many of these trailblazing women do you recognize?


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Even with two daughters, and a sister who has been a role model for them and other girls (at speaking engagements, girls and boys are always surprised to learn she was the first woman to race the road course at Indianapolis Motor Speedway), it wasn’t until last year that I learned there even was a Women’s History Month. (Which is embarrassing as I claim to love history.) But once I made it a point to not only take notice of stories of women in history, but also women making history (for example, Wally Funk), I realized there are so many inspirational women – you just have to look for their stories.


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It is the 21 st Century; we should not need a Women’s History Month to make sure that we remember and honor all the contributions and accomplishments of women. (And, I will not get into my opinion of the word " herstory.”)

But, there are many great ways for us to celebrate. Find stories you find inspirational, and then share them with others. Donate (time or money) to an organization that helps women. Make an effort to support women-owned businesses. Or, maybe something as simple (and as enjoyable) as listening to your favorite female artists and musicians, reading female authors, or watching movies about strong independent women.