| Now that I understand it better, I have to admit my initial thoughts may have been an over-reaction. |
| That often happens. Especially with you. But, what is the topic? |
| Oh, sorry! Remember when you forwarded me the email from that woman who had read about our detour into the world of Criminal Justice on our website, and she said, "I just wanted to encourage you to consider changing the language a bit." At first, I rolled my eyes, but then I got annoyed. |
| I remember the email but have no idea why you would get annoyed. It was not a random email from nowhere. She and I are both members of the Texas Women's Justice Coalition, although she is much more active as, for me, it is a learning experience. Plus, since she had been incarcerated, she has a very different perspective than I do. |
| I wasn't questioning her credibility; I was annoyed because we've gone above and beyond to make it clear that we have open minds in terms of the criminal justice population – male and female. In fact, thanks to you, I went from a "lock 'em up and throw away the key" mentality to seeing them not as bad people, but people who have made bad choices. |
| OK, but now I'm really confused as to why you were annoyed. It is not like you are only willing to help people on "the outside" but not when they are "inside". |
| No, that's not what I'm saying. It's that initially, I thought to myself, gee, we've done all this – and for free – and it's some of the most rewarding work we've done, yet we're being criticized for using the word "offender"?! Seriously? One word! |
| Yes, but she followed up by explaining how when we referred to them as "offenders" before seeing them as "people", it was contextually appropriate. However, by continuing to use the word "offender" it "perpetuates the dehumanization of the people in the minds of your readers." |
| But one word?! I felt like she was ignoring everything else we said and being overly sensitive to one word! |
| Sounds like you are the one being overly sensitive. Regardless, that one word has connotations, and conjures up images and stereotypes and misconceptions. It defines the person by their crimes and punishments, ignoring everything else. Words are powerful, so should always be used carefully, especially in criminal justice situations, where there is already such strong bias by both the media and society. |
| I understand that. Now. The fact you thought it important enough to change the language on our website so quickly helped. Plus, the Marshall Project article you forwarded helped me understand that just because your intentions may be good, your choice of words can be damaging. |
| I never realized that the word "offender" could be offensive (sorry, could not resist), as are other words such as "inmate" or "prisoner." But if changing it to "person who is incarcerated" can help change mindsets and attitudes, it seems an easy thing to do. |
| Well, it worked on me … once I got past my assumptions and over-reaction. |
| Sometimes change happens one person at a time … |
Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Ye Jinghan on Unsplash
Second Chance Month may almost be over, but giving someone a second chance, especially for those who’ve been on the wrong side of the law, shouldn’t end when April does. Because we’ve all made mistakes, and a second chance is a gift that can make all the difference, as Red dramatically learned below …
| I had no idea that April was “Second Chance Month” until you sent me the official proclamation. I find it interesting that in the midst of juggling our usual million and one Red & Black things, your interest in criminal justice, which I know you consider a “passion project”, is as strong as ever, maybe even stronger. |
| It is not intentional, sometimes “passion projects” find you. And, when you least expect it. |
| Or where you least expect it! Only you would take a “field trip” to a men’s prison. |
| I will not get on my soapbox about how our education system contributes to the criminal justice problem. I will never forget a friend of mine who was formerly incarcerated telling me, “Rehabilitating people makes the assumption they were habilitated in the first place.” |
| When you stop and think about that statement, it’s pretty powerful! But I have to smile as once upon a time you, and I, used words like “offenders” and “prisoners” until we learned how our choice of words could be dehumanizing. |
| Says the woman who once believed in the idea of “lock ’em up and throw away the key”. |
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Blackassets.rebelmouse.io | That was before! I know you told me that just because someone made a bad decision, it didn’t make them a bad person, but it sounded like a cliche. Now, my opinion is based on our experience and the impact we’ve seen. The feedback has been eye-opening. Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with “do-overs.” |
| Exactly. None of us are perfect. We have all made bad decisions. Second chances are about opportunities to show we have learned from our mistakes. |
| Well, I know I have. Obviously, not anything illegal. But it made me determined to teach my daughters what I had learned. Probably one of the most heartwarming parts of the feedback we’ve received is that so many people on the inside want better – not only for themselves, but for their children and grandchildren. |
| Yes, which is why having a second chance is so critical. And, helping set people up for success, not failure, because it is about more than changing the lives of the formerly incarcerated -- it can change the lives of their families and, in turn, our communities and our country. |
| A ripple effect that could mean more people may get it right the first time and not need a second chance. |
| True. Maybe we should look at it as giving society a second chance … |
We first ran the post below five years ago, and we’re glad April’s no longer Autism Awareness Month but now is Autism Acceptance Month. Especially as autism seems to have become more commonplace (partially due to improved diagnosis, but also less stigma). Most important, though, is learning about autism, including how to talk about it in a non-judgmental way … because that’s what helps all of us move from awareness to acceptance.
| Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye. |
| Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call. |
| Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities. |
| I think you mean DIFF-abilities. |
| Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. |
| Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings? |
| I know that you completely changed my way of thinking, not only about Natasha but about the concept of "disabilities" full stop. It opened my eyes – and my brain – about how just because someone has challenges or limited abilities in some areas, that doesn't mean they don't have different gifts and strengths in other areas. |
| Exactly. Although autism is a "spectrum condition" meaning it affects people differently and to varying degrees, it is a complex developmental disorder that can affect a person's social skills, and ability to communicate and interact with others. However, autistic people usually possess some extremely valuable traits that are rare in non-autistic people. |
| Which is why it frustrates me that so many people feel like those with disabilities, excuse me DIFF-abilities, are "lesser" people. When Natasha was diagnosed, she was in her teens and already had a very strong personality (no doubt inherited from you) and, luckily, seemed to have an innate understanding that she was just different, not better, not worse, than others. I guess one of the biggest challenges is to get others to see things with the same mindset. |
| We are a story-telling society, and there are countless stories of people with DIFF-abilities, including those with autism, that are eye-opening and more powerful than anything we could ever say. |
| Funny you say that, as I was curious to learn more about autism and found some inspiring quotes (including a wonderful Tom Hanks clip) that not only gave me great insight but made me smile. One of my favorites was how Paul Collins, an author and parent of an autistic child, said, "Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." That's such a great way to describe not only those with autism but any disability. |
| Well, technically, it will fit, but it requires that the diameter of the circle be larger than the diagonal of the square. Basic geometry. But, I understand Paul Collin's point. |
| Talk about DIFF-abilities! Couldn't you just agree with me? |
| The thought never crossed my mind. |
| So, how do you plan to explain how our WORDS & BANTER section is different from BANTER BITES? Although it often takes more than a "bite" of sisterly banter to address topics, especially since we always seem to have very different perspectives. |
| You just explained it. |
| Do you think we should mention how, on the surface, it may appear as a hodge-podge? An assortment of topics. Things that don’t fit “nice and neat” in specific categories. |
| Areyou describing WORDS & BANTER? Or, life? |
| I should've known that you'd answer my question with a question. |
| How long have I been your sister? By now, you should be used to it. |
| True. Just like you should be used to my blah-blah-blah. |
| Which explains why we never have a shortage of words … or sisterly banter. |
| That, and the fact that you always seem to have a different point of view or perspective on any given topic. |
| We are sisters— not clones. |
| Well, sometimes I think you’re a Vulcan. Anyway, should we mention that if they want a weekly dose of Red & Black banter and perspective, they should sign up for our newsletter at the bottom of this page? |
| You just did. |
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