People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".
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I suspect I’m not alone when I say I have a problem with
problems. I know I can’t make them go
away, but they often seem overwhelming, especially if they’re going to take a
lot of time and effort to resolve. And
if they’re a “serious” problem, my natural tendency is to “freak out”, which
makes matters even worse because then I don’t even know where to start. Or even if I’m capable of dealing with
it. Being a warm and fuzzy person (I’m not going to get into the fact I avoid conflict at all costs) means that my emotions drive my reaction and approach, which (as Black likes to point out) makes the problem even more, well, problematic. |
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When we talk about problems, it is usually about something that is difficult to deal with or understand. It is something that stands in our way, hinders us from achieving a particular goal, or just adds to an already overburdened to-do list. And, problems cause stress. No wonder problems create a negative attitude or outlook. But, what if you took that same situation and looked at it as something that needs to be overcome? Recognizing it may take a significant amount of time and effort, but in the end, you will feel a sense of accomplishment. Would that change your approach? And, what if you break it into smaller pieces and create interim milestones? Being pragmatic (and competitive), challenges are an opportunity to accomplish or prove something. |
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Black
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THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- Why do you think Red and Black have such different attitudes toward problems/challenges?
- Think of a problem. Can you turn it into a challenge? Will that help you tackle/resolve it?
- Define “mindset” and “perspective.” How important are they to this conversation? Why?
People have told us they’re using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created “Conversation Starters”.
The first time we posted this may have been the first time Red thought about the difference between being thankful and having gratitude. And it started a new Thanksgiving tradition (Black prefers to think of it as a “habit”) …
| I’m really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year, especially since last year was the first since Mom passed away, and the dining room table seemed incomplete. Which may partially explain why we ended up sitting around the kitchen table and island instead. And that was wonderful – so relaxed, easy, and fun – but I still couldn’t help but think of her not being with us. It’s funny because, over the years, even as life changed, such as the girls growing up and going off to college, I’ve always taken for granted that Thanksgiving would somehow always remain the same, cooking the same dishes, with all the preparation beginning days in advance. So, I'm not sure that I truly stopped and appreciated each Thanksgiving Day as I was so focused on everything I needed to get done. This year, though, I plan to take a moment to stop and think about some of the things I'm thankful for, and to start appreciating the day itself. To try to "be present", so to speak, in the present. |
| I know that Thanksgiving is about giving thanks, but what you just described is gratitude. Gratitude is "deeper" than thankfulness, and the best way I can describe it is … think about when you might write a thank you note – someone gives you something or does something for you. It is a fleeting event. Now think about if you were to write someone a note or letter of appreciation. You have repeatedly told me that mere mortals often need reminders, so what if this Thanksgiving you start a "gratitude habit"? Make a daily appointment with yourself to find a few quiet moments and write down at least one thing for which you are grateful. It can be as simple as sunlight on your face or the crunch of an apple. You are probably rolling your eyes right now, but it will only take a few minutes and can change your life. Or, at least, how you look at it. |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- If you look back, what or who would you appreciate (or appreciate more) that you didn’t at the time?
- If you begin to appreciate the value of appreciation (pun intended), what might you want to be mindful of going forward?
- Do you think a "gratitude habit" might be useful? Would you be willing to "test-drive" (Black's words) one for a month and see if your opinion changes? Explain your answers.
People have told us they're using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others (family, friends, and even in classrooms), so Black created "Conversation Starters".
Not only is Christmas less than a week away, but so is Chanukah (the first night is on Christmas Day). And although we wrote this Conversation Starter years ago, we seem to have this same conversation every year.
| I can't believe how quickly the holidays are flying by. On one hand, all I want to do is enjoy them as I love this time of year. But I can't because there always seems so much to do. And I'm afraid that if I don't do everything on my holiday "to-do" list, I'll disappoint people, including me. You don't have this problem as you don't have kids and you live alone, plus others aren't looking to you to make the holidays festive and memorable. |
| You seem to start with your "to-do" list, whereas I think about the significance of the holiday and what will make it meaningful and memorable. Yes, it is a more pragmatic approach, but it makes the planning so much easier. You know that I dislike the over-commercialization of holidays, but it does provide a reminder that it is important to let others know how much you appreciate them. |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- What's most important to you during the holidays? Why?
- Describe your "perfect" (yet realistic) holiday celebration. What it would take to make it come true?
- If you celebrate with others, have you ever discussed what's important to them?
P.S. – Since this is being posted in the midst of
the December holiday season (what Red refers to as the "silly season"), you
might be interested in these recent posts: