Words & Banter

There’s A Reason I’m Talking To Myself

I don't know about you, but there are days when I just need to vent. And, much to the chagrin of my sister, Black, she's the one who gets to hear it. A few years ago, given my tendency to blah-blah-blah, she asked me to let her know right up front whether I'm looking for advice or merely letting off steam. When I questioned (with some annoyance) what difference did it make, she pragmatically explained it impacts whether she has to listen carefully, or even comment (although she'll throw in questions like, "Really?" or, "And then what?" to make me feel like she's paying attention). Bottom line: she knows that once I've had my vent, I'm good. It's out of my system and I'm (usually) ready to move on.

But occasionally there are times when I still need to talk to her, and although I'm looking for advice it's similar to a vent in that I don't really need her to listen. But, unlike a vent, ironically enough, this is when I need to listen to myself.

Confused? Well, at first, so was I. It started when I found myself not knowing what to do about something (the particulars aren't important), so I called her looking for advice. But as I started talking, I heard myself answering her questions before she even asked them. I was explaining my thought process, going through the pros and cons of the situation, and even running through the various scenarios that might happen based on what I decided. Of course, Black would occasionally throw in a "Why?" (her favorite question), but by the time I finally stopped talking, I had my answer.

Over time, I found this situation repeating itself – sometimes related to our mother or my daughters, a high dollar purchase, or sometimes just a small decision I was struggling with (they often seem the hardest to make) – with me often prefacing the conversation by admitting,

I've found that saying things out loud usually helps me figure things out. So, although it sounds counterintuitive, this is one of those times when I need someone to talk to, but the good news is I'm not expecting you to do anything more than that.

Well, not only does Black appreciate the heads-up, but the first time I said it, it provided the perfect opportunity for one of her smart-ass comments,

In other words, you do not want me to interrupt you while you are talking to yourself.

Exactly! Because sometimes you don't need advice as much as you just need a sounding board.

Photo courtesy of Red’s eldest daughter, Natasha

What does Thanksgiving have to do with shoes?! Or, the fact some of Red’s most memorable Thanksgiving celebrations happened when she lived overseas and introduced the holiday to friends, none of whom were American. But this column from 2022 is bittersweet for Black, as shortly after it ran, her good friend John passed away … yet the memories of Thanksgivings spent together – and of dear friends – live on. (But that still doesn’t explain the shoes …)


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At the risk of asking you a warm and fuzzy question, have you thought about what you’re most thankful for this Thanksgiving?


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Yes.


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I should’ve guessed that you’d take the question literally. Could you expand on that a little, or at least give me a hint?
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Background image by IlijaErceg on iStock

Take a moment and imagine not being able to read this sentence. Now, think about this … if you’re reading this, you’re doing something millions of Americans can’t.


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I’ll admit that I never realized how many people can’t read. It’s something I’ve always taken for granted. That’s until Black and I met someone doing something about it – Jackie Aguilera, now the Project Manager for the Mayor’s Office of Adult Literacy (Houston). Her focus wasn’t only on reading literacy but on “literacies” I’d never heard of, such as financial literacy, health literacy, and digital literacy. But it all starts with the ability to read.


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It is called functional literacy. Obviously, if you are reading this article, you are on the internet. Which has more information than anyone can possibly absorb (and is why news literacy is so critical). Now, imagine if you could not read. All that information … just sitting there. Available to others, but not to you.


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Books are my great escape. Always have been. So, I can’t imagine a life without them.
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Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
It’s late October, and for most of us, fall is in the air, which is Red’s favorite season. (It might have something to do with all the pumpkin spice products.) Halloween, which has been “marketed” in stores for months, will soon be over. And Election Day, which has been headline news for what seems like forever, is just around the corner. So, why are we linking to an Independence Day column? And one from 2020, no less?


Because now is the time to decide what direction we want to take our country. RED & BLACK … A Time For Independence is about the spirit of independence. And four years later, we feel it’s very sad (and very scary) that our sentiments about our country’s leaders having the strength, courage, and conviction to be independent thinkers are still relevant. Maybe even more than ever before.