Shining A Light On … Gaslighting

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gaslighting

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I still can’t believe that “gaslighting” is Merriam-Webster’s 2022’s Word of the Year. But it does remind me of the 1944 movie “Gaslight” with Ingrid Bergman. Although I watched it on TV decades later, it was probably the first psychological thriller I ever saw, and it didn’t surprise me it won Oscars for Best Picture and Best Actress that year.

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Actually, it started with the 1938 play “Gas Light,” which became a 1940 British film titled “Gaslight” (one word), and four years later, MGM made the version you remember with Charles Boyer as the husband. All with the same plot – a man trying to make his wife believe that she is going insane by insisting the house’s gas lights are not dimming, although they are, making her question her sanity.

red head assets.rebelmouse.io

I’m the movie buff, not you! So, why would you know all this? Are you going to try to convince me that you’ve become interested in old movies?

Black assets.rebelmouse.io	There are many things I might be able to mislead you on, “gaslight” if you will, but that is not one of them. Years ago, when I first heard the phrase “gaslight,” I was curious about its meaning and origins.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, all I know is the movie took place in England during the late 1800s before electricity was used in houses, and London was known for its incredible fog, which lent an extra layer of “creepiness” to everything. But what I found so “scary” about the plot was that it started as something mundane and seemingly plausible but, over time, almost drove the wife over the edge.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	That is how gaslighting works. In that instance, the “victim” was intentionally and systematically given false information by her husband, someone she trusted, so he could discredit her. But, whether in movies or real life, it is used to control people – emotionally, financially, physically. And, as we have seen, even politically. Think about all the misinformation out there, especially on social media.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	When you stop and look at it that way, it’s even scarier. And it’s not only incredibly effective but also dangerous. I understand the huge political ramifications but have also seen how, on a personal front, it can subtly undermine you. And relationships.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Is there something you are trying to tell me?
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I just found it a coincidence that “gaslighting” was named word of the year, as I’ve been using it with someone who often tries to “gaslight” me. It’s nothing serious, just annoying. No, make that very annoying. At first, I thought it was an amusing game or even an “excuse” for either forgetting something or not listening in the first place.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	At first? What about now?
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if it’s more, although I might be giving the other person too much credit. It’s one thing to cover your tracks or deflect blame, but what if it’s something more, well, sinister?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	I started to say, “Now, your theater degree is showing,” but gaslighting can be difficult to recognize. And, especially in personal relationships, where it can be abusive. When I was married to Larry, and since he drank every night, I could easily claim I told him something, and he would not remember whether I did or not. But, trying to make someone question their sanity or judgment is very different.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Exactly. And did you really do that? Anyway, I didn’t realize the many aspects of gaslighting. Or how serious a problem it is.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	It does not get enough attention in terms of mental health, but the concept seems to be almost a daily occurrence in the news, and especially politics.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	And if the mere existence of gaslighting isn’t scary enough, even standing up to it doesn’t always work. I doubt you watched it, but the limited series “Gaslit” was about Martha Mitchell and Watergate. She was an early whistleblower but was ridiculed by people, including her husband, in an attempt to discredit her.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	It is an extreme example of gaslighting – on both a political and personal level. And, went so far as to involve medical professionals who diagnosed her accurate perceptions of real events as delusional (now known as the “Martha Mitchell Effect”).
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Talk about a living nightmare.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Which makes you wonder ... are you better off letting gaslighting continue, even if you do not believe it, or adamantly refusing to accept it?
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Seriously? Or are you gaslighting me?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Good question.

mental health

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I can still remember seeing Mel Brooks' "Young Frankenstein" when it was first released (in 1974) at the Massapequa movie theater, which was literally at one end of an old strip shopping center. It bore no resemblance to today's multiplex cinemas, and the concession stand offerings were very limited. It was dark and a bit dingy, and the seats were old and uncomfortable. But I didn't care because the popcorn more than made up for it. And while I sat through multiple showings of the movie (it's still one of my favorites), I was grateful my dad had given me enough money to buy multiple popcorns, as in those days there was no such thing as the big bucket, let alone free refills.

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