This is one of those posts that was "suggested" I write, although I did not see why anyone would care about my shoes or my shoe dilemma. Yes, I am known for my shoes – in particular, my stiletto heels. In fact, when Red and I taught at KIPP Houston High School, the students would text about my shoes within minutes of me arriving on campus. (Red would always ask them, doing her version of sarcasm, why they did not do the same for her "comfy" shoes and boots.)
When we did a speaking engagement about personal finance at Silsbee High School, my shoes became a topic of discussion during the Q&A session. (Red was so amused that she included it as Story #2 in her Memory Lane post titled "The Road To Silsbee. To Where?!") I will admit I was impressed by how astute the students were to question how I could talk about "Thinking Before Spending" yet stand in front of them wearing shoes with red soles that they guessed cost hundreds of dollars. (I never disclosed their exact price, but the students were online pricing Christian Louboutin shoes.)
Luckily, none of the students have ever asked how many pairs of shoes I owned. I could not compete with the thousands of pairs Imelda Marcos had, but I did own (past tense) hundreds of pairs that I had collected over the years. No, make that decades. I enjoyed the collecting as much as the wearing, and would even buy shoes as souvenirs when I traveled.
My logic, not that I needed any, was that fashion and shoe styles repeat themselves over the years. Plus, classic shoes (from pumps to driving shoes) never seem to go out of style. So, I would carefully store the shoes (and boots) in clear plastic shoe boxes (I lost count of how many cases of shoe boxes I have bought from The Container Store), and every season go down to my storage unit in the basement of my high-rise to shop my "collection" and decide what would "move up" into my closet. Of course, I would add a few new pairs each season. Usually black, because black never goes out of style.
So, what was my dilemma? Which pair to wear? I wish. No, I had to run out and buy a pair of shoes for a date. And, it soon became apparent it was about more than a pair of shoes,
- I had not gone out on a "date" in years, as I do not count dinners out with friends as dates, and I typically wear "dressy" jeans or slacks since we do not dress up. I never wear a dress.
- Although I once had a collection of fabulous dressy high-heel summer sandals, they floated away when Hurricane Harvey flooded the basement of my high-rise. I know all of them did not drown as some were found in the building's garage when the water finally receded, and I can only hope those hundreds of shoes found good homes.
- The pandemic has changed women's attraction to high heels, so when I stopped by Saks to buy a pair of high heeled black sandals, what in the past would have been easy to do, was more like a scavenger hunt as the shoe department was filled with sneakers (!!!) and casual shoes.
I still wonder why I am writing this … other than Red finds the whole situation amusing. But, sometimes, I feel like my life is her entertainment. The other person who suggested I write this post was my date (he did appreciate the effort I put forth to "dust off" a dress and find a pair of date shoes), as he thought my story about the "concept" of wearing a dress on a date and dating post-pandemic was something that a lot of people can relate to right now. Plus, he thought my predicament was, and I quote, "Funny shit!" I guess he, too, finds my life entertaining. Hmmm, maybe I should also dust off our idea for a Red & Black sitcom …
| Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye. | |
| Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call. | |
| Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities. | |
| I think you mean DIFF-abilities. | |
| Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. | |
| Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings? |
| I know that you completely changed my way of thinking, not only about Natasha but about the concept of "disabilities" full stop. It opened my eyes – and my brain – about how just because someone has challenges or limited abilities in some areas, that doesn't mean they don't have different gifts and strengths in other areas. | |
| Exactly. Although autism is a "spectrum condition" meaning it affects people differently and to varying degrees, it is a complex developmental disorder that can affect a person's social skills, and ability to communicate and interact with others. However, autistic people usually possess some extremely valuable traits that are rare in non-autistic people. | |
| Which is why it frustrates me that so many people feel like those with disabilities, excuse me DIFF-abilities, are "lesser" people. When Natasha was diagnosed, she was in her teens and already had a very strong personality (no doubt inherited from you) and, luckily, seemed to have an innate understanding that she was just different, not better, not worse, than others. I guess one of the biggest challenges is to get others to see things with the same mindset. | |
| We are a story-telling society, and there are countless stories of people with DIFF-abilities, including those with autism, that are eye-opening and more powerful than anything we could ever say. | |
| Funny you say that, as I was curious to learn more about autism and found some inspiring quotes (including a wonderful Tom Hanks clip) that not only gave me great insight but made me smile. One of my favorites was how Paul Collins, an author and parent of an autistic child, said, "Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." That's such a great way to describe not only those with autism but any disability. | |
| Well, technically, it will fit, but it requires that the diameter of the circle be larger than the diagonal of the square. Basic geometry. But, I understand Paul Collin's point. | |
| Talk about DIFF-abilities! Couldn't you just agree with me? | |
| The thought never crossed my mind. |
| So, how do you plan to explain how our WORDS & BANTER section is different from BANTER BITES? Although it often takes more than a "bite" of sisterly banter to address topics, especially since we always seem to have very different perspectives. | |
| You just explained it. | |
| Do you think we should mention how, on the surface, it may appear as a hodge-podge? An assortment of topics. Things that don’t fit “nice and neat” in specific categories. |
| Areyou describing WORDS & BANTER? Or, life? |
| I should've known that you'd answer my question with a question. | |
| How long have I been your sister? By now, you should be used to it. | |
| True. Just like you should be used to my blah-blah-blah. | |
| Which explains why we never have a shortage of words … or sisterly banter. | |
| That, and the fact that you always seem to have a different point of view or perspective on any given topic. | |
| We are sisters— not clones. | |
| Well, sometimes I think you’re a Vulcan. Anyway, should we mention that if they want a weekly dose of Red & Black banter and perspective, they should sign up for our newsletter at the bottom of this page? | |
| You just did. |
We love it when Passover, Good Friday, and Easter overlap. Yes, they’re very different celebrations, but they have a lot in common — tradition, history, family, and hope. And the post below is worth repeating, because we wish everyone could remember what we have in common instead of our differences …
| I can't tell you how much I love when Passover and Easter are close together. And this year, the last day of Passover falls on Easter! |
| They usually fall close to one another, and when the girls were young and celebrated everything (which many interfaith families do), it allowed me to be efficient in terms of gift-giving and celebration meals. |
| I'll never forget you adding fluffy Easter bunnies and pastel-colored eggs to a Zabar's basket of Passover goodies. But I wasn't really thinking about that. |
| Let me guess. You want to use this as an opportunity to remind me – once again – that the Comparative Religion class you took decades ago at Wake Forest University was one of the best classes you ever took. |
| Fine, make fun of me. But that class was such an eye-opener. Before it, I thought there were huge differences between the religions. But the reality's very different. We have much in common. |
| Yes, a belief in something bigger than us, in faith, in traditions, in celebrations that go back centuries. |
| Exactly! And while people might celebrate different holidays based on their religion, when those holidays come close together it's a perfect reminder of what's truly important. Our fundamental values are so similar. If everyone could see that, maybe we'd be pulling together more and be torn apart less. |
| It is up to each of us to decide whether we want to focus on our differences or our similarities. |
| At this point, I'd settle for respect, tolerance, and understanding. |
| You left out world peace. Well, given that Passover and Easter both celebrate history … and hope … maybe your request is reasonable after all. |
| In that case, whether our readers are eating the last of the matzo or hunting Easter eggs, I think we should wish them a very happy holiday… one filled with hope, happiness, and peace. |
| You just did. |


