Words & Banter

RED & BLACK … Summer Hours Are Ours

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash


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I know that ribs are one of your favorite foods, and I made, as always, way too many of them, so would you like me to run some in to you? It’s not a problem.


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Sure. Especially after you teased me with the photo you sent last night. But, you should save that photo in case we ever do a cookbook.


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WE do a cookbook? You never cook, so what recipes could you possibly include?


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I have recipes. Two of them. Noodle pudding and wild rice soup. But, I could include recipes from my favorite restaurants. Or, cooking tips from their chefs. Regardless, I am curious how your barbecued ribs look so evenly browned. Was it the lighting or Photoshop?

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Neither. It’s because they were baked in the oven. However, I barbecue the fresh corn. I used to microwave it, but years ago, I decided to try something different. Now, it’s one of my favorite things – whether eating it on the cob or using the kernels in one of my “concoction” salads.

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Ribs cooked inside and corn outside. That seems backward. Especially since many people barbecue during the summer to keep the house cooler by using the kitchen less. Although standing over a hot barbecue during the unbearable summer heat in Houston is not appealing.

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We barbecue year-round but do it more over the summer because the days are longer. When it’s dark by 6 p.m., you don’t think to “fire up the barbie,” to quote Mick “Crocodile” Dundee.

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Did you know Paul Hogan first used the phrase “on the barbie” in a commercial for the Australian Tourism Commission? It was before he made the Crocodile Dundeemovies and promoted their culture and love of the outdoors.

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I never knew that! But it makes perfect sense. There’s something special about cooking outside. Besides being casual and relaxed, it can make a simple meal more delicious, as the barbeque flavor makes everything taste so much better. It’s part of what makes summer so wonderful.

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Yes, there is a summer “mindset”. Without doing research, it might be related to summer breaks and vacations, or even the extra sunlight and Vitamin D. But, it is real.

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I don’t need research to know that as a parent, I equate summer breaks with the need to find ways to “entertain” children. Regardless, for us “mere mortals”, summer means longer days with more sunlight, so more time for leisure activities. And the heat always slows me down, so life feels a little less hectic and more laid back. But for you, I’m guessing summer’s no different from any other time of year.

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Well, I do appreciate summer fruit, especially watermelon. And, it impacts my workouts on the balcony as I wait until dusk. It also means scheduling errands or any in-person meetings in the morning before it gets too hot. But, since that is usually my most productive time to work, and those are things I would normally do later in the day when I am “brain-dead”, summer can wreak havoc on my productivity.

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Years ago, I used to get up early on Saturdays to do all my grocery shopping and errands before the stores got crowded. Then, for some reason, I stopped doing that. But maybe I should start doing it the “old way” again.

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As someone who has always been an early riser, I love how much I can get done before others, like you, have even started the day.


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Which is why I cringe when I check emails in the morning, regardless of the season. But I’m only talking about starting my Saturdays early. Especially since the extra daylight already makes the days feel longer, so I feel pressured to squeeze more into my day.


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Days are 24 hours long. Full stop. But, if you do certain things during daylight hours – you now have more hours. Whether to do more or do things more leisurely. Simple math.


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Well, given a choice between tackling my overflowing daily “to do” lists or relaxing and enjoying the long days of summer, it seems like a no-brainer.


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It is not either-or … if you have more daylight hours, you have time to do both.

Want to read other columns? Here's a list.

Photo by mevans on iStock
Since we first ran the conversation below, autism awareness has become more commonplace, but there’s a big difference between that and acceptance. (Which is why April is now Autism ACCEPTANCE Month.) Not to mention assumptions. Labels aside, don’t we all have something of value to contribute? Think about your different abilities (Black calls them “diff-abilities”), and you may find a new way to look at others, especially those with autism -- with respect, empathy, and a desire to better understand their situations, strengths, and challenges.


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Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye.


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Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call.


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Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities.


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I think you mean DIFF-abilities.


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Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.


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Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings?
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Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Ye Jinghan on Unsplash

We’ve all wanted a “second chance” at some point in our lives. A “do-over” for a mistake we made, a bad decision, or something that didn’t work out well. An opportunity to show (to ourselves and to others) that we learned our lesson.

Now imagine that second chance being life-changing. For many people who’ve found themselves on the wrong side of the law, a second chance might be all they need to turn their lives around. Which is why April was designated Second Chance Month and why we’re rerunning what changed Red’s perspective on second chances …



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I had no idea that April was “Second Chance Month” until you sent me the official proclamation. I find it interesting that in the midst of juggling our usual million and one Red & Black things, your interest in criminal justice, which I know you consider a “passion project”, is as strong as ever, maybe even stronger.


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It is not intentional, sometimes “ passion projects” find you. And, when you least expect it.


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Or where you least expect it! Only you would take a “field trip” to a men’s prison.


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I will not get on my soapbox about how our education system contributes to the criminal justice problem. I will never forget a friend of mine who was formerly incarcerated telling me, “Rehabilitating people makes the assumption they were habilitated in the first place.”


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When you stop and think about that statement, it’s pretty powerful! But I have to smile as once upon a time you, and I, used words like “offenders” and “prisoners” until we learned how our choice of words could be dehumanizing .


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Says the woman who once believed in the idea of “lock ’em up and throw away the key”.
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Image by filipefrazao on iStock

When you think of cancer, do you think that’s something only older people need to worry about?

Well, you’d be wrong because it’s alarming how many people under 50 are getting cancer. (Think Catherine, Princess of Wales.) And while the exact causes remain under investigation, what we do know is that early detection through cancer screenings is crucial.

It should be a priority for all of us (men and women) – and not only during Cancer Prevention Month but year-round.



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I know that cancer isn’t the “death sentence” it used to be when we were growing up, but it’s still a very scary word. Especially if it’s heard “close to home”.


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When we were young, the word was rarely said. And if it was, it was whispered or referred to as the “ c-word.”


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Kind of like when I had my two miscarriages. No one wanted even to acknowledge, let alone talk about, them. Which made it all the more difficult to get through it, although intellectually, I knew it was not uncommon.


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Unfortunately, neither is cancer. It is the second-leading cause of death in the world, surpassed only by heart disease. But, at least, it is no longer a taboo subject.


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Please don’t make this about numbers. It’s about people. Which you should know. I’m sure you remember when Daddy was diagnosed with parotid gland cancer , which luckily was treatable. And I’ve had skin cancer, although I was very fortunate, it was caught early and easily treated.
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