| Thanksgiving’s my favorite holiday, although it’s hard because Natasha’s living in England. But I can’t wait for Sawyer to be home from college, and since she and her friends love our new (or at least new to us) pool table, I’m looking forward to them hanging out at our house. |
| That means there will be more people to enjoy your decorations throughout the house. Do you still put the big inflatable turkey out front? |
| Of course. He’s my favorite inflatable and has been on our front lawn since right after Halloween! If it was up to me, and the homeowners association wouldn’t send me a nasty note, I’d have him up year-round. And I don’t expect you to remember, but years ago, I pared down the number of decorations I put up inside the house. Just enough to make it festive, but not overwhelming in terms of set-up and take-down. |
| And, if I remember correctly, you also pared down your traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Or, at least, the homemade desserts. Are you going back to being excessive now that Sawyer may have friends over? |
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| I always make too much food, and this year will be no different, even though in the past, it was also so I could give Mom lots of leftovers. This year will be our first Thanksgiving with her gone. |
| I am sure it will hit you at strange moments throughout the day. Especially when it is time to deal with all the leftovers. |
| Well, it’s not like you’ll take them. You barely like any of it to begin with. |
| Look, I am not a fan of holidays and liked being able to use COVID as my excuse for staying home. And, even though I dislike turkey, I always enjoy the Honey Baked Ham and take a few slices home. |
| Technically, since you buy the ham and I merely pick it up and serve it, you should take all the leftover ham home. But since Sawyer and I both love it, we’re glad you don’t. |
| Using that logic, I should take home all the leftover pies I bring from Whole Foods. Even though I am not a fan of pies. |
| Well, everyone else loves them, and it takes away the guilt of me not making everyone’s favorite desserts. |
| I find it funny – you cook all day and even make multiple types of potatoes so everyone can have their favorite, yet feel guilty about store-bought pies that everyone loves. Years ago, I used to run away from home to avoid celebrating the holiday and never felt guilty. |
| I forgot about that, as it was before I moved to Texas. I never knew whether you were trying to avoid celebrating Thanksgiving or your birthday since they fall so close together. |
| Both. And, especially when my birthday fell on Thanksgiving. |
| This year your birthday falls on Black Friday, which seems so appropriate. Although, like every year, we’ll struggle to find something to get you. |
| I have given up trying to tell you that you do not have to do anything. |
| Yes, but you hit 65 this year. It’s a biggie. |
| Ok, then how about we celebrate by starting a new tradition, and deliver pies to your local nursing home or assisted living facility? It would be a great way to make me feel young. Or, at least, younger. |
| That’s funny. I used to bake cookies and brownies for the girls to give as Christmas gifts, but I’ve never thought about delivering them to total strangers. Plus, since Mom’s birthday was at the end of November, if we did it around Thanksgiving, it would be a great way to honor her memory. |
| Is that not the true spirit of Thanksgiving? People may debate its origins, but it is about giving thanks. The traditional feast “replicates” the Pilgrims celebrating their good fortune by sharing their food and crops with the Indians. |
| Says the woman who doesn’t cook. And never has people over to her home. |
| But, neither is required to appreciate what you have in your life and share it with others. |
| Good point. I think we sometimes get so wrapped up in the shopping and cooking that we forget the true meaning of Thanksgiving. |
| Which is why having meaningful traditions is important. They work as reminders. |
| Then I’m not sure I should admit one of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions. |
| Do I even want to know? |
| Probably not. I wake up, turn on “The Godfather” movie marathon on TV, and start cooking. I love the break from my normal routine and having the freedom to cook all day, coupled with the feeling that it means fall’s here, even if the weather’s still warm. |
| It sounds like you are appreciative of the day. So, that is a step in the right direction. Plus, the movies are about family. And, include family meals. |
| Yes, but even you, who I know loves to connect dots that seem to be unrelated, can’t tie the Corleones or The Godfather movies to the Pilgrims! |
| Really? But I believe, to paraphrase Don Vito Corleone, the Pilgrims made the Indians an offer they could not refuse. |
| Clever! Especially as that may be the most memorable line from the first Godfather movie. So, I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse … we’ll have Thanksgiving dinner late enough that you’ll have most of the day to work on Red & Black in uninterrupted peace and quiet. |
| Deal. And, I give thanks that you remember that is my Thanksgiving tradition. |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
We first ran the post below five years ago, and we’re glad April’s no longer Autism Awareness Month but now is Autism Acceptance Month. Especially as autism seems to have become more commonplace (partially due to improved diagnosis, but also less stigma). Most important, though, is learning about autism, including how to talk about it in a non-judgmental way … because that’s what helps all of us move from awareness to acceptance.
| Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye. |
| Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call. |
| Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities. |
| I think you mean DIFF-abilities. |
| Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. |
| Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings? |
| I know that you completely changed my way of thinking, not only about Natasha but about the concept of "disabilities" full stop. It opened my eyes – and my brain – about how just because someone has challenges or limited abilities in some areas, that doesn't mean they don't have different gifts and strengths in other areas. |
| Exactly. Although autism is a "spectrum condition" meaning it affects people differently and to varying degrees, it is a complex developmental disorder that can affect a person's social skills, and ability to communicate and interact with others. However, autistic people usually possess some extremely valuable traits that are rare in non-autistic people. |
| Which is why it frustrates me that so many people feel like those with disabilities, excuse me DIFF-abilities, are "lesser" people. When Natasha was diagnosed, she was in her teens and already had a very strong personality (no doubt inherited from you) and, luckily, seemed to have an innate understanding that she was just different, not better, not worse, than others. I guess one of the biggest challenges is to get others to see things with the same mindset. |
| We are a story-telling society, and there are countless stories of people with DIFF-abilities, including those with autism, that are eye-opening and more powerful than anything we could ever say. |
| Funny you say that, as I was curious to learn more about autism and found some inspiring quotes (including a wonderful Tom Hanks clip) that not only gave me great insight but made me smile. One of my favorites was how Paul Collins, an author and parent of an autistic child, said, "Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." That's such a great way to describe not only those with autism but any disability. |
| Well, technically, it will fit, but it requires that the diameter of the circle be larger than the diagonal of the square. Basic geometry. But, I understand Paul Collin's point. |
| Talk about DIFF-abilities! Couldn't you just agree with me? |
| The thought never crossed my mind. |
| So, how do you plan to explain how our WORDS & BANTER section is different from BANTER BITES? Although it often takes more than a "bite" of sisterly banter to address topics, especially since we always seem to have very different perspectives. |
| You just explained it. |
| Do you think we should mention how, on the surface, it may appear as a hodge-podge? An assortment of topics. Things that don’t fit “nice and neat” in specific categories. |
| Areyou describing WORDS & BANTER? Or, life? |
| I should've known that you'd answer my question with a question. |
| How long have I been your sister? By now, you should be used to it. |
| True. Just like you should be used to my blah-blah-blah. |
| Which explains why we never have a shortage of words … or sisterly banter. |
| That, and the fact that you always seem to have a different point of view or perspective on any given topic. |
| We are sisters— not clones. |
| Well, sometimes I think you’re a Vulcan. Anyway, should we mention that if they want a weekly dose of Red & Black banter and perspective, they should sign up for our newsletter at the bottom of this page? |
| You just did. |
Red assets.rebelmouse.io We love it when Passover, Good Friday, and Easter overlap. Yes, they’re very different celebrations, but they have a lot in common — tradition, history, family, and hope. And the post below is worth repeating, because we wish everyone could remember what we have in common instead of our differences …
| I can't tell you how much I love when Passover and Easter are close together. And this year, the last day of Passover falls on Easter! |
| They usually fall close to one another, and when the girls were young and celebrated everything (which many interfaith families do), it allowed me to be efficient in terms of gift-giving and celebration meals. |
| I'll never forget you adding fluffy Easter bunnies and pastel-colored eggs to a Zabar's basket of Passover goodies. But I wasn't really thinking about that. |
| Let me guess. You want to use this as an opportunity to remind me – once again – that the Comparative Religion class you took decades ago at Wake Forest University was one of the best classes you ever took. |
| Fine, make fun of me. But that class was such an eye-opener. Before it, I thought there were huge differences between the religions. But the reality's very different. We have much in common. |
| Yes, a belief in something bigger than us, in faith, in traditions, in celebrations that go back centuries. |
| Exactly! And while people might celebrate different holidays based on their religion, when those holidays come close together it's a perfect reminder of what's truly important. Our fundamental values are so similar. If everyone could see that, maybe we'd be pulling together more and be torn apart less. |
| It is up to each of us to decide whether we want to focus on our differences or our similarities. |
| At this point, I'd settle for respect, tolerance, and understanding. |
| You left out world peace. Well, given that Passover and Easter both celebrate history … and hope … maybe your request is reasonable after all. |
| In that case, whether our readers are eating the last of the matzo or hunting Easter eggs, I think we should wish them a very happy holiday… one filled with hope, happiness, and peace. |
| You just did. |