Words & Banter

Thinking About Hearts On Valentine’s Day. And Every Day.

Image by farakos on iStock

Even though Red’s the warm and fuzzy one and Black’s extremely pragmatic, we both think of hearts on Valentine’s Day. Just not in quite the same way …



red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Happy Valentine’s Day. And before you say anything, yes, I know you don’t celebrate holidays, so just humor me.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

But, I do “celebrate” February being American Heart Month since heart disease is the leading cause of death – for both men and women.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Gee, that’s one way to turn a “fun” holiday into a real downer. Today’s supposed to be about letting people you love and care about know that you’re thinking of them. Think Hallmark cards, squishy teddy bears, chocolate hearts.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Do I have to? I rather think about eating well and exercising. I would think you would want to make sure you are around for the people you care about.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


I do, and the irony is that I know what to do . I just can’t find the motivation to keep it going for more than a few days. But when it comes to eating well and exercising, nothing seems to deter you.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Because every morning, I walk into a large closet filled with size 2 clothing.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


That’s funny.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


It is the truth. I have always been a clothes horse. Now, decades later, I have a significant investment hanging in my closet. And, since almost everything is timeless and classic, I would be extremely annoyed if it no longer fit.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Well, even if that’s something us “mere mortals” can’t relate to, at least it keeps you motivated. I just don’t have anything like that in my life.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Really? I can name two things.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Well, I’m not sure Natasha and Sawyer would want to be referred to as “things”, but I see your point. I think I did a better job staying fit when they were younger and truly needed me every day. Plus, back when I was cooking for them, I was more focused on healthy eating.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Those are excuses. Are you saying that now that they no longer need you as cook and chauffeur, they also do not need your life experience and unconditional love? Especially as they face the challenges of adulthood.

red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Ok, now I don’t know whether to feel guilty or sad because I’m not taking good enough care of myself to always be there for them. At least, if I’m lucky, for the next 30 or 40 years.

Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


How about stop being so dramatic and just start taking better care of yourself? Do you remember the airplane and oxygen mask analogy?


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Absolutely. It was one of your more clever trick questions. You asked me if I was on a plane with the girls and we lost altitude, causing the oxygen masks to drop, would I first put the mask on myself or the girls. I answered, “The girls, of course.” You then pointed out that if I didn’t take care of myself first, I wouldn’t be in a position to help them.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

And everyone else that might either need you or want to have you around for a long time. But, it is your call … you can make smart decisions now or regret it later.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Well, that’s brutally honest. But it has motivated me to go for a walk and think about how I’m going to not only begin, but maintain, a “new and improved” lifestyle. I guess, in many ways, I’m now saying Happy Valentine’s Day to myself, not you.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Mission accomplished.


holidays
Words & Banter

Red Then. Red Now.

From back flap of our book, “What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!” Photographer unknown.

Long before we had an ABOUT page, readers met Red not only through the back flap of our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, but because her crisis was the book’s title! But a lot has happened since Black turned her crisis into a book — a brand — a business. Including a lot of growing up.

And Red? Still warm and fuzzy. Just a lot less sheltered.

WHAT WE SAID THEN

When we started working on the book, Red couldn’t find a photo of her and the girls, so they posed for one in the fall of 2004. Later, our book editor captured Red this way:

After getting a degree in Theater Arts, Red moved back in with her parents until she married an outgoing Englishman and followed his career around the globe. Now she lives in Sugar Land, a suburban city on the outskirts of Houston, Texas. Red is a warm and fuzzy mom whose life revolves around her two red-headed girls. With Red, it's all about the feelings.

WHAT WE DIDN’T KNOW THEN …

We knew Red was used to letting others take the lead. We didn’t know that once she took control, she’d discover how much she was capable of.

We knew her life revolved around her two red-headed girls. We didn’t know how much growing up was still ahead — for them and for Red.

We knew Red had learned a lot when her husband got fired. We probably should have known she’d want to use what she learned to help others.

And we described Red as “warm and fuzzy” and “all about the feelings. ”Still true. She’s just learned that sometimes warm and fuzzy isn’t enough.

AND THERE’S A STORY BEHIND THE PHOTO …

What makes this seemingly ordinary photo remarkable? Red’s in front of the camera!

She was almost always the one behind the camera, so when we needed a photo of her for the book, it had to be staged. In fact, she’s not even sure who took the photo.

At the time, it was simply a photo we needed. Looking at it now, it’s more than that. It captured Red in the middle of the life she’d always dreamed about — and when her girls were still young and being their mom was the center of her world.

She knew they would grow up. She just didn’t know how quickly that picture would become a memory.

A lot has changed since that photo was taken. Including Red.

Red & Black
Words & Banter

Comparing Red & Black

Same family. Very different approaches to life.

Red is warm and fuzzy. Black is pragmatic and sarcastic.

  • Red leads with her heart. Black leads with her head.
  • Red wants to talk it through. Black wants to solve it.
  • Red gives you the context. Black gives you the bottom line.

Which sounds more like you?

Which brings us to one of our favorite examples: When we had to explain the differences between us for the Introduction to What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, Red wrote pages with her usual blah-blah-blah. Black gave the book designer a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet.

Funny thing is that over the years, readers have not only told us which of us they’re more like, but also gone so far as to identify the “Reds” and “Blacks” in their own families. We even had a few who nicknamed themselves (one was “Brown,” another was “Bald”).

So, are you more like Red or Black? Or somewhere in between?

comparing sisters
Words & Banter

Finding Balance … With A Traffic Light?


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


I know everyone’s always trying to find balance in their life. I thought becoming an empty nester would make that easier, but apparently not. The girls may be grown, but being a mom doesn’t end when your children move out. Between them, Red & Black, and my seemingly endless lists of things to do, I still struggle.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


And, as I am a die-hard workaholic who admits to not having a life, you think I have the answer?


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Excellent point. Never mind.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


However, I do have some suggestions … although I will preface it with, "Do as I say, not as I do."
Keep Reading ...Show less
finding balance