Has there ever been a time when you wished you had a chance for a “do-over”? We’ve all made bad decisions at times. Sometimes it’s something small. Other times it can be life-changing. Second chances are opportunities to show we’ve learned from our mistakes. So, who wouldn’t want a second chance?
For many people who have found themselves on the wrong side of the law, a second chance might be all that’s needed to truly turn their lives around, which is why April was first proclaimed Second Chance Month in 2017. But five years before that, when we detoured into the criminal justice world, Red’s perspective on second chances changed dramatically …
| I had no idea that April was “Second Chance Month” until you sent me the official proclamation. I find it interesting that in the midst of juggling our usual million and one Red & Black things, your interest in criminal justice, which I know you consider a “passion project”, is as strong as ever, maybe even stronger. |
| It is not intentional, sometimes “ passion projects” find you. And, when you least expect it. |
| Or where you least expect it! Only you would take a “field trip” to a men’s prison. |
| I will not get on my soapbox about how our education system contributes to the criminal justice problem. I will never forget a friend of mine who was formerly incarcerated telling me, “Rehabilitating people makes the assumption they were habilitated in the first place.” |
| When you stop and think about that statement, it’s pretty powerful! But I have to smile as once upon a time you, and I, used words like “offenders” and “prisoners” until we learned how our choice of words could be dehumanizing . |
| Says the woman who once believed in the idea of “lock ’em up and throw away the key”. |
red head
assets.rebelmouse.io
Black
assets.rebelmouse.io
Black
assets.rebelmouse.io
| That was before! I know you told me that just because someone made a bad decision, it didn’t make them a bad person, but it sounded like a cliche. Now, my opinion is based on our experience and the impact we’ve seen . The feedback has been eye-opening. Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with “do-overs.” |
| Exactly. None of us are perfect. We have all made bad decisions. Second chances are about opportunities to show we have learned from our mistakes. |
| Well, I know I have. Obviously, not anything illegal. But it made me determined to teach my daughters what I had learned. Probably one of the most heartwarming parts of the feedback we’ve received is that so many people on the inside want better – not only for themselves, but for their children and grandchildren. |
| Yes, which is why having a second chance is so critical. And, helping set people up for success, not failure, because it is about more than changing the lives of the formerly incarcerated -- it can change the lives of their families and, in turn, our communities and our country. |
| A ripple effect that could mean more people may get it right the first time and not need a second chance. |
| True. Maybe we should look at it as giving society a second chance … |
| It’s January, and everyone’s probably tired of reading about New Year’s resolutions. |
| Not me. Since I never make them, I never feel the need to read about them. |
| Of course, you don’t. So, what should we write about? |
| How about that we celebrate some of our favorite things in January? |
So many “National Days” in January are fun (we’ve written about them over the years) and remind us of some of our favorite things. (Can you pick which are Red’s favorite holidays and which are Black’s?) And whether or not you make resolutions, it’s always important to have a sense of humor and enjoy the simpler things in life …
- NATIONAL CLEAN YOUR DESK DAY: Resolutions Aside … A Clean Desk? Is That Even Possible???
- NATIONAL BAGEL DAY: Not A Trick Question ... Who Doesn’t Love Bagels?
- NATIONAL POPCORN DAY: Do People Really “Celebrate” Popcorn? Red Does!
- NATIONAL HUGGING DAY: Think Before … Hugging?!
- NATIONAL BACKWARD DAY: Celebrating Having Fun … And Success … By Being Backward?
Answer: Red’s favorites are Bagels, Popcorn, and Hugging. Black’s are Clean Desk, Bagels, and Backward.
What does Thanksgiving have to do with shoes?! Or, the fact some of Red’s most memorable Thanksgiving celebrations happened when she lived overseas and introduced the holiday to friends, none of whom were American. But this column from 2022 is bittersweet for Black, as shortly after it ran, her good friend John passed away … yet the memories of Thanksgivings spent together – and of dear friends – live on. (But that still doesn’t explain the shoes …)
| At the risk of asking you a warm and fuzzy question, have you thought about what you’re most thankful for this Thanksgiving? |
| Yes. |
| I should’ve guessed that you’d take the question literally. Could you expand on that a little, or at least give me a hint? |
| Friends. |
| I should’ve guessed that too since John’s been in the hospital for the past several weeks and is one of your oldest friends. |
| Not sure “oldest” is the kindest way to define it, but he and his wife have been my closest friends for over 35 years. To the point that John calls me his “second wife,” although he’s only been legally married once. |
| That’s funny, but on my recent fall foliage trip, I realized it was so much more than chasing leaves as I experienced the joy and appreciation of visiting a dear friend and her family. And while phone calls, texting, and even FaceTime are great, it’s just not the same as spending time together. |
| I was going to mention that when you first told me you were going to see Sawyer in Nashville and also spend some time at Amy’s in east Tennessee, but figured you already knew that friendships can easily be taken for granted … until something makes you fully appreciate them. |
| That’s so true. Although I prefer to have a small group of friends, and most of mine I’ve known for decades – either from elementary school, college, or my years living in Hong Kong. Unfortunately, though, none of them now live near me. |
| Friends do not require living in the same town, although that is usually how friendships begin. And, while we may not stay in touch as frequently as we want, over time, we see who our true friends are … they are the ones who are always there for us, during good times and bad. And, in my case, are brave enough to point out when they do not agree with me. |
| Very brave. My friends have it easier, but I count on them to give me an honest perspective no matter what, although I prefer when they agree with me. |
| Of course, you do. And, your friends should be thankful you are so easygoing. |
| Well, at the risk of sounding corny, with Thanksgiving just days away, it’s the perfect time to be truly thankful for our dear friends. |
| It reminds me of the photo that Natasha sent us last year when she was celebrating “ Friendsgiving” with her friends in England. |
| Besides not realizing it was an actual thing and not Natasha combining the words “friends” and “Thanksgiving,” I was expecting photos of her attempt at making sweet potatoes or other traditional Thanksgiving foods , or maybe a bunch of Brits sitting around the table with the lone American. Not a photo of everyone’s shoes in the entry hallway. |
| I never thought of Thanksgiving as being “all about the shoes”, but that image sums up the true meaning of the holiday. |
| Tell the truth; everything’s always all about the shoes for you. But, given this Thanksgiving will be the first without Mom, the image’s a wonderful reminder of the importance of friends who’ve been there for me this year. And I include you as both family and friend. |
| Once is enough for me. And, as the saying goes, you cannot choose your family but (like shoes) you can choose your friends. So, pick carefully, and then appreciate them. |